Good Friday

#265: When Plans Change (Friday, January 27)

2012-01-27T01:00:00.000-05:00

I once read somewhere the Japanese believe that each moment happens only once. So they drink tea to celebrate the beauty and specialness of the moment. Think about that. Even if you read this again tomorrow, wearing the same clothes at the same time, it won't be the same moment as today.

So it's very important to capitalize on the moments you do have. But understandably, things change and the plans you make with others may not always come to fruition. Nevertheless, there is a thoughtful way to address a change of plans or a cancellation. Make these tips part of your everyday guide:

If you need to change plans, proactively give the other party as much notice as possible; it is inconsiderate to change plans when the other party contacts you to confirm
If you will be later than expected, offer the party the opportunity to reschedule for another day
Acceptable reasons to change plans include: an emergency, illness, death or work (if keeping your job depends on it)
Unacceptable reasons to change plans include: you don't feel like it*; you've received a better offer
Try not to change plans more than once; you lose your credibility after the first couple of times
Try to avoid changing plans for events that are difficult to reschedule (tickets to an event on a specific day) or required a lot of pre-planning (a trip abroad, events at someone's home)

*I'm also very superstitious, so I believe that if you get the feeling that you shouldn't go somewhere, go with your gut. BUT you should use that excuse only once every 10 years. LOL.

#264: Grace (Friday, January 20)

2012-01-20T02:28:00.000-05:00

Grace: 1. Elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion or action; 2. A pleasing or attractive quality or endowment.

Every day we are confronted with situations where a celebrity shows an apparent lack of grace: Etta James' criticism of Beyonce; Kanye West's infamous outburst; and more recently, Madonna's comments on Lady Gaga and her speech at the Golden Globes. I'm sure you can think of instances in your immediate circle. But on the flip side, there have been celebrities who have shown grace in uncomfortable situations. Mark Wahlberg's swift and sincere apology to his recent faux pas comes to mind. I also think Beyonce handled the Etta James incident elegantly.

I think many of these situations occur because people don't understand what it means to be gracious. Here are a few tips:

Be respectful. When you disrespect others, it is a reflection of you.
Do not publicly belittle or speak ill of others. It is ok to have an opinion, but being tactful and tasteful is essential. You can be honest without being mean.
Be humble. Pride and conceit are not bedfellows of grace.
Be sincere. Do not put on airs or be fake.
Acknowledge your mistakes. Everyone makes them, it's all in the recovery.

Your assignment: Think of one person in your life that embodies grace and strive to emulate the qualities that you think makes them so.

#263: Peanut Butter (Friday, January 13)

2012-01-13T00:01:00.001-05:00

"Howdy an tenk yuh nuh bruk square." -Jamaican proverb

(To say hello and thank you doesn't require much effort.)

Over the holidays, I was looking for a soup kitchen or a food pantry to volunteer at on Christmas day. Unbelievably, most of the places I checked didn't have any volunteer opportunities; some had more volunteers than they could use. One of the pantries I called, the director said, "We don't need any volunteers, but we could use some peanut butter."

I thought it was an odd request then I did some research and found out that for many food pantries, peanut butter is an essential item. It's a great source of protein for children, doesn't spoil and can feed many people cheaply. But there's a peanut butter shortage, so many pantries can no longer afford to stock this item.

I think a "thank you" is a lot like peanut butter--essential to every day life, but can oftentimes be very scarce. Sometimes we think it, but forget to articulate it; we take it for granted that the intended recipient knows that we're thankful. Other times, it's not even a consideration. But nothing is too small to deserve a thank you, and it's never too late to give one.

A thank you is thoughtful way to acknowledge a kindness. Whether you say it in person, call or send a note, just remember it in your every day life.

#262: Empathy & Thoughtfulness (Friday, January 6)

2012-01-06T07:25:00.000-05:00

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead

It's a new year, another 365 days to make a difference. And as the year changes, so does our theme. We are leaving 2011's money management theme behind and in 2012 we will focus on being more empathetic and thoughtful, specifically as it relates to etiquette.

I think etiquette is less about being "PC" (politically correct) and more about being "ET" (empathetic and thoughtful). Most people won't care if you use the "correct" fork at dinner, but they will care if you are an inconsiderate, obnoxious dinner guest.

Think about how many wars, fights, accidents, misunderstandings, lost friendships, divorces and other such scenarios could have been avoided if people stopped to think about the effect of their actions on another person.

As we go through this year, I'll provide etiquette tips for every day life. But as you go through each day, constantly ask yourself one question: "Am I being ET?"

#261: Thank You, Bear! (Friday, December 30)

2011-12-30T01:01:00.002-05:00

Early one morning, a little bear found a little box.

He looked inside. Then he exclaimed,

“Why, it’s the greatest thing ever! Mouse will love this.”

Bear’s friends aren’t so sure of his newfound treasure, however. “That’s not so great,” says Monkey. “I’ve seen those before,” says Owl. And by the time Bear finds Mouse, his own doubts have grown. But Mouse has the last say when he looks inside the little box. “It is the greatest thing ever,” he tells his friend. “Thank you, Bear.”

Excerpt from Thank You, Bear by Greg Foley

We're at the end of another year of Good Fridays! I can't believe we've gone through the year so quickly.

Like Monkey, you may have thought my financial tips were "not so great". Or some of you may have "seen them before", as did Owl. But I hope the majority of you were like Mouse and found them useful (yes, I know "the greatest thing ever" might be a bit of a stretch. LOL).

And if you are even a little better at financial management than you were at the beginning of the year, then for me that is "the greatest thing ever".

As we leave this topic and move into 2012, here's the one link you need to help you manage your money and stay on top of your financial goals:

Wisebread: 190 Resources for Saving Money

Use it. Love it. Live it.

#260: The Things You Can Count On (Friday, December 23)

2011-12-23T00:01:00.001-05:00

There are only two things that are certain in life: death and taxes.

Every year before December 31, I make sure I do one thing: I contribute to the 529 plans I have for my godchildren and niece. In New York, I get a deduction for contributions which is great for a single gal like me. But every April when I'm filing my taxes I inevitably hear about some other deduction that I might've qualified for if I'd done it in time. Buzzkill.

So I was absolutely thrilled to find this article on CBSnews.com that plainly lists the 7 deductions that are expiring this year as well as some other tax strategies that I can put in place, depending on whether I expect my income to increase or decrease. Yay!

Check it out; you only have a week left to take advantage of some of these before they're gone for good.

#259: You Are Not Your Stuff (Friday, December 16)

2011-12-16T04:30:00.001-05:00

Accumulating debt can be a trap; it limits your possibilities because you're always consumed with paying it off. I've been following this blog, Man vs. Debt, for a little while and I think it's one of the best real life examples of how to become financially free. There's a post from a woman who sold the stuff she didn't need and netted $15,000 which she used to pay off her loans over the course of 9 months. But the most impressive thing thus far for me has been the list of the family's possessions. Yes, everything they own is cataloged on the website with pictures.

Many people spend a lot of time focusing on their "stuff"--the things they have and the things they want to have. We spend an inordinate amount of effort and money to acquire and store things we don't need. In fact, this year when I considered downgrading to a smaller apartment quite a few people discouraged it, even though I have a room that I barely use.

As we approach the holiday season of gift-giving it's important to remember that while it's essential to have good credit and some measure of savings, we are not our stuff.

I challenge you to spend one day before the year ends going through your stuff. Consider gifting the items you don't need (instead of buying new ones), or selling them and putting the proceeds into your emergency fund.

#258: The Courage to Be Different (Friday, December 9)

2011-12-09T12:18:00.000-05:00

There is a saying that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. I heard the same sentiment expressed a different way today:
"Running into a brick wall hurts just as much the first time as it does the 500th time."

In order to get a different result you have to be different. Whether you're trying to improve your credit, change your spending habits, save more or pay off your loans you have to change your current behavior in order to be successful. Sticking to existing habits and expecting your financial situation to change is like running into a brick wall over and over again.

They say in order to form a habit you have to practice the behavior for 30 consecutive days. I'm not sure how true it is, but it's worth a shot right?

So for the next 30 days, use your phone's calendar to keep track of your daily spending. Just write the amounts you spend. I recommend using your phone because it's something that's always with you so you don't have to worry about maintaining another log.

If you have an iPhone, you can download one of the many free aps available; just search "expense tracker" in the App store. Blackberry users can use Expensify or Money Menttor.

Keeping your spending habits at your fingertips is a great way to cut back expenses.

Breaking a bad habit is hard, but isn't the end result worth it?

#257: The Cost of Waiting (Friday, December 2)

2011-12-02T07:55:00.000-05:00

We're already in December, can you believe it?! That means we only have five more Fridays to make some positive changes in our finances, so I'm going to make these five weeks count by providing some actionable idea you can implement every Friday 'til the end of the year!

This week we'll focus on the cost of waiting to save. What is it costing you? For me, every month I buy drinks from the vending machine instead of saving it, it costs me $40. Now that may not sound like a lot, but if I saved that money for a year I'd have over $500. Not to mention that water is a healthier alternative.

I found this wonderful tool called Me Save? on Feed the Pig that can help you figure out what kind of spender you are and how much you could save if you put that money elsewhere.

Use it and let's make these last five Fridays count!

#256: Spare Some Change? (Friday, November 25)

2011-11-25T10:58:00.000-05:00

I had a wonderful conversation with a couple of girlfriends this past weekend about (people's ability to) change. A couple days later, I read about a guy in Canada who'd saved $723 worth of change in seven months. And then I overheard someone on the bus saying she had to go switch out her change at the machine so she could go Black Friday shopping. So I figured it was a sign that this week's Good Friday idea should be about change. LOL.

I once read that the average household has $90 worth of change lying around the house. $90! Either I'm living in the wrong household, or I'm sitting on a goldmine. So what do you do with this spare change? Here are a few ideas:

Use it for your holiday shopping
Pay a bill
Use it for your kids' allowances
Donate it to charity; in some countries your 60 cents could do a world of good
Do something fun: go on a date, treat yourself to dinner, etc.
Invest it

I guess we could all use some change...And speaking of change, help change your community tomorrow by patronizing a small business in your neighborhood. Support Small Business Saturday!

#255: Deal Breakers (Friday, November 18)

2011-11-18T06:13:00.000-05:00

"A deal breaker is ‘the catch’ that a particular individual cannot overlook and ultimately outweighs any redeeming quality the individual may possess." - Urbandictionary.com

In every relationship (whether it's a friendship or a romantic liaison), there are deal breakers. Deal breakers are just another way of saying "standards"; it's the measuring stick that helps each of us define our personal limits of what we will and won't accept.

The other day, a friend and I were talking about financial deal breakers. He had two: his prospective mate "must have good credit", and if over 30 she must also have "at least one major asset such as a home, a car, a business--something we can build on." Thankfully, I wasn't trying to date him. LOL. (I discovered, the hard way, that in America paying off your bills and canceling your credit cards actually hurts your credit score. Go figure.) I thought his second deal breaker was a little excessive, but what was even crazier is that my friend was seeking qualities in his prospective mate that he had yet to accomplish, thus breaking the Golden Rule of Deal Breakers: never write someone off for something that you don't possess yourself.

Deal breakers often get a bad rap, but from a financial perspective they can actually be quite helpful when trying to meet your financial goals if they're not too restrictive or unrealistic. You can have financial deal breakers for yourself, or for your partner...which may not be a bad idea considering that many marriages break up over money matters.

My personal financial deal breakers:

No layaway: If I have to put it on layaway, I don't need it. And after hearing about Chuck Schumer's latest initiative regarding layaway, I'm glad this is one of my deal breakers.
No loans: I really HATE owing people money. If I have to borrow money to pay for it, I don't need it. Obviously, this excludes major things (college education, home purchase, car purchase) or if I fall on hard times, but this is the general rule.

What are your personal financial deal breakers?

#254: Rebounding from A Bad Situation (Friday, November 11)

2011-11-11T07:38:00.000-05:00

"If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;" - Excerpt from If by Rudyard Kipling

The other day I was watching a program on TV. They were interviewing Carl Payne, one of the main characters on the Martin sitcom. He was working as a car salesman in LA, and from the line of questioning, I could tell that the interviewer was trying to make it seem like he'd fallen from grace ("How do you go from Martin to this?").

I thought Carl Payne's response was brilliant: "I love what I do, but more importantly I have a family to feed and there's no shame in honest work and taking care of your family." Brilliant.

Nowadays, I'm noticing that a lot more celebrities and athletes are going broke. It seems like every few years Toni Braxton is bankrupt; Terrell Owens just petitioned a judge to reduce his $40,000/month child support payments because he couldn't afford it and I'm sure this NBA lockout will likely produce a few more. So I was very inspired to read this article about basketball couples who are changing their financial strategy in preparation for the lockout. It sounds like they'll be one of the success stories.

I know it's annoying to regular Joes like you and I who live on substantially less incomes to understand how someone with a multi-million income could be broke. But it's not the situation itself, but how you respond to the situation that determines the outcome. Most of these bankruptcies are a result of poor financial management, not how much money they earn.

But you even after a financial crisis, you can rebound and rebuild. It is up to you and your attitude. Will you be a Carl Payne or a Toni Braxton?

#253: Turn Your Thoughts Into Action! (Friday, November 4)

2011-11-04T06:53:00.002-05:00

After last week's post, I was delighted to discover that people are using their power and speaking up. In fact, I recently read about a bank transfer day, started by a consumer just like you and I, who was frustrated with the fees of Bank of America.

On the inaugural day, which will be celebrated tomorrow, November 5, customers are encouraged to transfer their balances from (for profit) banks to (non-profit) credit unions. I don't know if that was the impetus for Bank of America to cancel the debit card fee, but I'm sure it didn't hurt. And other banks, after seeing the near-revolt B of A experienced, have sensibly decided not to implement similar fees...for now.

If you decide to take advantage of Bank Transfer Day to move your balance, do your research. Compare rates, fees, etc. for different banks on bankrate.com and make sure that you're making your choice based on the features you're looking for in a bank, rather than just moving it to a non-profit institution to avoid fees.

#252: You Are Powerful; Use It! (Friday, October 28)

2011-10-28T07:13:00.000-05:00

"You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead."

This week I heard the story of The Mouse Trap. Many people have asked me about my opinion on the Occupy Wall Street movement, and I think this story summarizes perfectly my feeling on the subject. See, my opinion is not the popular one; I don't think we're here because of "corporate greed" and "political incompetency." Yes, those things contribute to the economic crisis we find ourselves in, but I think this could have been avoided if there were more consumers who were "mice." Alas, most of us are "chickens, pigs and cows" who generally don't act until the situation affects us personally or hits close to home.

The Netflix situation is a perfect example of how consumers can use their power to effect change. The company lost 800,000 subscribers in three months and that made them pay attention and revert to more consumer-friendly practices. Here's how you can use your consumer power:

Stay informed. Whenever corporations are deciding to implement new policies, they usually do a test run or conduct focus groups. I set up a Google Alert for my bank so I know whenever they're in the news.
Ask questions. Even if the company you give your business to isn't the one conducting the test, if their competitor successfully implements a policy, it'll only be a matter of time before they follow suit. Remember the story of The Mouse Trap; even if it doesn't seem immediately apparent, it may ultimately affect you! Call your company ask questions.
Take individual action. Don't assume someone else is protesting or taking action. Each individual has their own power. If you are a good customer, a company will not want to lose your business. I've gotten reduced rates, fee waivers and other perks just because I chose to take action.
Spread the word. You'd be surprised how many consumers may be in a similar situation. Discuss your experience with family and friends, in public forums and via Twitter and other social media outlets. No company wants negative publicity.

As a consumer, you have enough power to change corporate policies. Use it to your advantage.

#251: The Right Thing vs. The Easy Thing (Friday, October 21)

2011-10-21T06:34:00.000-05:00

"It betta fi lose yuh time dan yuh character." - Jamaican proverb, meaning "It's better to lose your time than your character."

Sometimes the stars align and you get an opportunity to do the right thing and it's easy. But more often, one supersedes the other and it requires a proactive and conscious effort to choose to do the right thing.

This is especially true when it comes to your finances. It's always much easier to get the immediate gratification of spending than to save. I was truly inspired the other day when I watched this story about a family of four who are DEBT-FREE and live on one teacher's salary of $40k.

I'm sure it can't be easy, but they did what was right for them and their family. And they are raising their kids to be financially aware as well; the kids have to divide their allowance into 3 jars: one for spending, one for saving and one for giving. What a fantastic lesson!

Every day we have to make decisions that will impact our future. Will you take the easy road, or will you do what's right?

#250: The Best Investment (Friday, October 14)

2011-10-14T06:34:00.000-05:00

With all the focus on Wall Street, unemployment, corporate greed and the like, a lot of people don't even want to hear the word "investing," let alone think about putting their money in an investment.

Yet, ironically many people with portfolios or those who are thinking of investing often overlook the most important (and the best) investment: themselves. It sounds like a silly concept, but if you're thinking of putting money into companies hoping for a greater return in the future, why can't you put money into you?

So how do you invest in yourself? Consider these opportunities:

Are you healthy? You can only be your best if you're healthy--both physically and mentally; this is the most important part of investing in yourself.
Do you take time for yourself? Many of the best portfolios have active managers who rebalance the portfolio when it departs from its original investment objective. Are you doing the same for yourself and taking time to regroup and re-evaluate your goals?
Is your resume up to date and ready to go at a moment's notice? Opportunity only knocks once and if you're not ready, it could pass you by.
Are you willing to spend money to improve yourself, your image and your opportunities? Consider memberships to organizations in your field, or in the field you're trying to get into; learn a new skill or a skill related to what you do.
Are you monitoring your network and ensuring that it contains a diverse group of people? If your network contains only individuals that are similar to you (race, gender, age, industry, culture, etc.), you're doing yourself a great disservice.
Are you involved in initiatives that are aligned with your goals?

Happy investing!

#249: Life Is Happening; Tune In (Friday, October 7)

2011-10-07T07:04:00.000-05:00

Last week, I was watching an episode of The T.O. Show, a reality series about football player Terrell Owens. He has been having some financial issues after a "friend" stole his debit card and going to town with it. He's also been having some difficulty locating his financial advisor, who seems to have just disappeared off the face of the earth. And to top it off, he hurt his knee; with the NFL lockout, his age and (let's face it) his controversial history, he's not exactly first pick for many teams.

In this episode, he was selling one of his homes and breaking the news of his financial struggle to his family. My first reaction to hearing the story was disbelief. I just couldn't understand how someone, especially in his position could a) let another person have such unlimited access to his bank card; b) not realize that so much money was being taken from his account; c) not have a person around him who would catch this situation before it became so huge.

And then I got it. When you're surrounded by people that you trust, you let your guard down. You become careless. You assume that if you don't catch it, others around you will. The problem is that many of those "others" are making the same assumption so it becomes a case of diffusion of responsibility. But you have to tune in. Be alert and don't be afraid to ask questions. And check the backgrounds of EVERYONE who manages your money:

For accountants: Check your state's board of accountancy, or check the IRB List published by the IRS' Office of Professional Responsibility for a list of disbarments, suspensions, resignations, censures for attorneys, CPAs, enrolled agents and enrolled actuaries.
For investing: the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA) has a wealth of resources for investors. From education materials to investor alerts to pre-investment tips; you should definitely go here first. There is also a BrokerCheck feature that allows you to see your financial advisor's licenses, customer complaints history etc.

Please use your resources and be alert!

#248: A Balancing Act (Friday, September 30)

2011-09-30T07:12:00.000-05:00

Last week, Wall Street had it's worst week in 3 years which prompted protesters to swarm the Financial District in droves. And now there's talk that another recession is approaching. So, like me, many people are having the same dilemma: should I be spending to help boost the economy or should I be saving and bracing myself for the months ahead?

I think the answer is a little bit of both...a balancing act, if you will. Life is short, so I don't think one can totally halt their goals and dreams just because they are afraid of a recession. If you've made plans and have a list of things you want to accomplish, you should still try to stay on track. On the other hand, I don't recommend frivolously spending. Tighten your spending where you can and try to increase your emergency reserves. I found this great video on CBS that provides tips on how you can increase your cash reserves.

Happy balancing!

247: An Essential Skill (Friday, September 23)

2011-09-23T00:56:00.000-05:00

One of the most essential skills for successful financial management--or even life, for that matter--is the ability to budget. Budgeting, or lack thereof, is part of the reason our country is in a financial mess; it could mean the difference between staying on top of your bills and being engulfed by them.

My budgeting is generally very loose: I live off one paycheck a month and wherever it ends, it ends. But there are times when I need to stick to a stricter budget and when that happens, I use The System, a bunch of envelopes that keeps me honest. Most people have heard about the jars, but I find that they aren't practical; who walks around with a bunch of jars?

How The System Works:

I make envelopes for each category of my expenses: Rent, Grocery, Commuting, Entertainment, Bills, Miscellaneous (doctor visits, medication, etc.)
I put the budgeted amount for each category in that envelope. For Rent and Bills, I use checks. For the others, I withdraw cash and keep it in the envelopes.
I leave my debit card at home and only carry the envelopes.
I only use money from the appropriate envelope.
At the end of the month, if there is money left over in any envelope, I add it to my savings.

The System has been successful every time I needed to keep track of my expenses. If you have difficulty figuring out where your paycheck goes each month, or have difficulty meeting your monthly financial obligations, I definitely recommend this method.

#246: Do You Have the Formula? (Friday, September 16)

2011-09-16T05:59:00.001-05:00

Good things come to those who work.

Life is a series of equations and formulas; you just have to apply the right one in order to find the answer you need. I think Success = Preparation + Hard Work + Timing + Positive Thinking. In order to achieve a goal, these four things must be present.

We all came into 2011 with financial goals--whether it was to pay off debt, get a better paying job, make a large purchase, save more, cut spending, start a business or get better at managing your finances. But how many of us have been applying the formula that will enable us to be successful?

An acquaintance of mine had the financial goal to increase his income in 2011. In order to do so, he needed to complete a certification in some IT system that would make him more marketable. In the beginning, I was his biggest cheerleader. I sent him links to places that offered his certification and followed up with him every week on his progress. (I think my constant followup was what made him register for the certification program to begin with.) But then I came to the realization that in order for him to be successful, he needed to be applying the formula for himself. I still provided encouragement, but stopped doing the work and preparation for him. He ended up taking the summer off and has decided to "wait and see what happens"...but he is still complaining that he needs to be making more money.

Do not sabotage your financial goals; apply the formula and you will be successful.

#245: The Glass is Full (Friday, September 9)

2011-09-09T15:04:00.001-05:00

In the last couple of weeks, there has been so much focus on jobs and unemployment and it has largely been depressing. Most experts are saying the jobs are gone for good because the U.S. doesn't produce anything and corporate taxes are too high and we're victims of consumerism and blah, blah, blah. If you're someone who's out of a job right now, this coverage would probably send you over the edge of despair.

But remember, even in the Great Depression when the unemployment rate was at 25% (16% higher than it is today), 75% of Americans were still employed.

So where are all the jobs? They are still many out there; I once read somewhere that most people already know the person/people who will get them their next job opportunity. I believe it's true; these days, getting a job is less about what you know and more about who you know. So here are some tips that may help you get the job you want (and I spoke to a couple recruiters about this, so it's not just my uninformed opinion).

Network. Networking is not about exchanging business cards. It's about establishing meaningful relationships with others. As a practice, I don't even own business cards; I take others' cards after I make a connection so I can follow up.
Befriend a recruiter in your industry. You need to know someone in your industry with whom you can discuss salary trends, available jobs and the like. Only a recruiter who specializes in your industry will have access to that information.
Do your own legwork. You can't just rely on a recruiter to send you jobs. You also need to help yourself. LinkedIn is still the best resource for finding jobs and people who can connect you to that job opportunity. TheLadders is also another resource if you're interested in jobs of a certain dollar amount, but it's subscription-based and they mostly compile existing information, so with a little groundwork you can find the same jobs on your own. If there are particular companies you want to work for, check their website frequently and also try to meet contacts there.
Volunteer. If you're currently out of a job, volunteering in your field can help you get in the door. For one, it helps you maintain a consistent work history (rather than having a gap in your work experience) and it can help you hone your skills. A friend of mine recently got a marketing job after volunteering her marketing services at a nonprofit.

Remember, "10% of life is what happens to you; the other 90% is how you react to it." Happy hunting!

#244: Til Debt Do Us Part (Friday, September 2)

2011-09-02T00:01:00.001-05:00

For many men, their masculinity is tied to their ability to provide for their spouses and family. And in today's world, that often equates to making lots of money. Now I can't speak for every woman out there, but for me it's not about how much money a man makes, it's more about how he manages it. In relationships when couples argue about money, it's usually not about how much of it there is, but more about how it's being spent.

So when a friend of mine told me about a show--a reality show in Canada--that helps couples manage their finances and get out of debt, I was all over it! And then when I found out the host, Gail Vaz-Oxdale, is Jamaican, that sealed the deal. I couldn't believe some of the episodes: couples with $70k, $80k in debt and still spending. There was one episode where the couple had been paying off a $1,500 payday advance for years! Yikes.

And I just found out that the show is coming to CNBC; in fact I think one episode has already aired. I've got my TVR set!

#243: Your Choices Determine Your Path (Friday, August 26)

2011-08-25T23:57:00.000-05:00

I am not the aunt or godmother that'll do arts and crafts with the kids. I can't solve a Rubix cube in a few minutes. I suck at video games, I don't know how to ride a bike and my magic tricks never work. But I'm great at money management, and that's what I hope to impart on my nieces, nephews, godchildren and the like.

I want them to know at a very young age, as I did, the value of money and that their financial choices will help to determine their lot in life. Just consider these 3 scenarios from children in my life:

I started to open a 529 for Child #1; the mom said she'd rather do it through work so she could do direct deposit. Three follow-ups later, Child #1's mom still hadn't made a move. It's been a dozen years...and Child #1 doesn't have a plan.
Learning my lesson, I opened a 529 plan for Child #2. I told the parents that I had done so, and gave them the information so they could contribute. Five years later, I'm still the only person contributing to the plan, and they don't have another account.
I also opened a 529 plan for Child #3 and shared the information with the parents. They made contributions and linked up their cards. Now when any of us shop (or when I dine at certain restaurants and pay with my card), a portion of our purchases goes directly into Child #3's account. The account value is already higher than that of the 529 account opened five years prior with the same amount.

Three set of parents, three different choices...but each will have an impact on their child's attitude about money and also on the child's future (Child #1 won't have a college fund to help pay for books, tuition and other expenses.).

Think about your choices...

#242: Whispers & Screams (Friday, August 19)

2011-08-19T00:01:00.001-05:00

"Listen to the whispers before you hear the screams." -Reverend Run

I once heard Reverend Run use that quote in the context of relationships, but I think it can be applied to any situation. He was basically trying to say that when you don't address the little things, they turn into big things.

It's an appropriate quote for our current economy: the housing crisis, the debt crisis, the job market...they all began as whispers. Even consumer practices that we've now come to accept as commonplace (ATM fees, paying for checked baggage on airplanes, no meals on airplanes) all began as whispers.

So, it was with great alarm that I watched a report on CBS yesterday about banks "testing" debit card fees. Wells Fargo is testing a $3 debit card fee in some areas, and JP Morgan Chase and a couple of other banks have already implemented these fees in certain areas. It was only a few months ago that I talked about banks testing exorbitant fees to non-customers who use their ATMs.

This is eerily reminiscent of when the airline industry started their testing, a tiny little whisper which got very little resistance from consumers who were willing to forgo certain conveniences for a lower ticket price. Now we have to deal with the screams: numerous fees that cancel out the lower ticket prices we originally thought we were getting anyway.

If you're one of the increasing number of people who rely on their debit cards rather than carry cash, then this may ultimately affect you. (Once one bank tests the fee and do not get consumer push back, other banks will start to implement it too.) Listen to the whisper: be proactive and monitor whether your bank is testing a similar fee and be vocal about it.

#241; Beneath the Surface (Friday, August 12)

2011-08-12T11:48:00.000-05:00

The other day my friend got an email offer to try American Express' prepaid card, which offers access to American Express benefits with no fees except for ATM withdrawals. Before getting the email, she'd been considering one of the Rush prepaid Visa cards, which may charge fees (monthly fee, requesting a paper statement, bill pay fee, etc.) that vary depending on the services you choose.

So it's a no-brainer right? Who wouldn't want access to Amex benefits (they're the chosen card for U.S. Tennis Open, Tribeca Film Festival and many other exclusive events) and the prestige often associated with the name, even if it's on a prepaid card?

But if you're being offered a prepaid card rather than a credit card, chances are there may be issues with your credit. And if you're having credit issues, then you need to look beneath the surface of these two cards to the one that will be more beneficial in the long run. So that's what I recommended to my friend.

We discovered that despite the fees of the Rush card (which can be mitigated by using it only for essential services) it could actually help build credit in the long run since they'll report bill payments to credit reporting agencies. So the fee could actually be justified. In contrast the Amex prepaid card doesn't monitor or track payments, so it's probably better for people who are seeking the prestige and access that Amex can provide.

Sometimes you have to look deeper than what's presented on the surface.

#240: A Thin Line (Friday, August 5)

2011-08-05T06:02:00.000-05:00

I got a lot of feedback from last week's Good Friday. One in particular is an issue that is somewhat related to business with family and friends. My friend Dave writes:

"Interesting Good Friday post about family and friends in business. I'm in IT, and my friends and some family always ask me to look at their computers. Should I be charging them? I feel like a bad friend asking for money but it takes up a lot of my time. What is a good way to bring up payment between friends."

This can be a sticky issue. The key is to not take advantage of your friends' goodwill by constantly asking for their help with the expectation that it will be free. Paying a friend for their help can also let them know that you respect their talent and time. Here are some tips to consider to keep things fair and balanced:

Generally speaking, if you ask a friend for help and the task is how they make their living, they should be paid. For example, asking your friend who's a mechanic to look at your car; or your friend who's an accountant to help you with your taxes.
It's considered polite to offer payment for the help and let the person decide whether or not to accept it.
If you're in dire straits and cannot afford a monetary payment, you should explain your situation and either: 1) Offer to trade services if you have a specialized service they may be able to use; 2) Offer a non-monetary compensation, such as making the person dinner; or 3) Offer to make payment at a later date.
Services between friends and family are typically charged at a discount, however you should use your discretion as every situation is different.

#239: When You're In It For the Long Haul (Friday, July 29)

2011-07-29T07:24:00.001-05:00

This week, I heard that singer Beyonce is suing her dad for allegedly stealing money from her. A couple days later, news broke that Leighton Meester is suing her mom, who is also her former manager, for misuse of funds.

It's easy to judge celebrities who sue their parents, siblings and other family members. However, when you consider that financial woes are one of the top two reasons for divorce (communication's the other), it's not so surprising; a business is just like a marriage.

Some people will say that getting into business with family and or friends isn't wise; and you'll find others who have done it and succeeded. It really is a case-by-case decision, but here are some things to consider if you decide to go that route:

Maintaining the relationship should be your first priority. Business should always be the secondary goal.
Define your business relationship with a partnership agreement that includes as many scenarios as possible. Note: you will never be able to capture every situation that could occur in a contract, but it's always a good place to start.
Have an exit strategy as well as a dispute resolution strategy.
Always consult an attorney. There should be one for the partnership, but you should each have your own attorney as well.
Keep Tip #1 at the forefront of your mind at all times. Remember that you love and care for the person with whom you are working.

#238: When Life Throws You A Curveball (Friday, July 22)

2011-07-22T06:56:00.000-05:00

One of the reasons I suggested making three financial goals is to get in the habit of constantly being in motion and working toward something. It's easy to lose focus and get distracted by life. But what about when you stick to the plan, you see your goals getting closer and then life throws you a curveball? How do you (and should you) rebound and get back on track? The good news is financial setbacks are generally easier to rebound from, especially if you keep these tips in mind:

Create an emergency fund and keep it funded; don't dip into it unless all other resources have been exhausted.
Think of several hypothetical scenarios that could affect your goal and create back up plans for how you'll address those situations should they arise.
Surround yourself with great cheerleaders and like-minded people who want to see you succeed at what you're doing. (Look carefully; it's always easier to find naysayers and folks who are more than willing to say, "I told you so.")
And most importantly, remember that the setbacks are a natural part of life and are only temporary. Don't let it dissuade you from continuing to pursue your goal, and certainly don't use it as an excuse for why you can't get back on track.

#237: Life Lessons (Friday, July 15)

2011-07-14T23:10:00.004-05:00

There are some life lessons that cost you your life or your quality of life.

Failure to visit the doctor on a regular basis could mean you discover a terminal illness when it's too late, or after you've had to amputate a body part, or lost your sight or some other necessary function. This is a tough lesson to learn the hard way, but it's also a lesson that will inspire those closest to you to be more proactive and do things differently.

There are some life lessons that cost you your time.

Staying at a company for years and being continually overlooked for promotions, and having your potential ignored. This may teach you to be more agressive to get what you want, but if you're also learning while you're being overlooked, you're amassing new knowledge that is transferable and also makes you more marketable.

Or being in a relationship for many years before realizing that you're not compatible, or you want different things from life. This is a valuable life lesson; it's simply preparation for the right person.

And there are some life lessons that cost you money.

For example, starting up your own business. When I started my magazine, it was the realization of a dream. Two years and $40,000 later I had to close it. I've never regretted doing it, and if I had to do it all over again, I would; it was worth every penny. The lesson I learned: I CAN do anything I set my mind to doing.

Or what about this ad that I've been seeing in the NYC subways, which is part of the NY Consumer Affairs Protect Your Money series. At first glance, I thought "Why would this man pay $6000 to someone to fix his credit? Why wouldn't he just pay that money towards his bills? But losing that money probably taught him the valuable lesson that there are no quick fixes to getting out of debt and also led him to a Financial Empowerment Center where he can develop good LONG-TERM money management skills that he can also pass onto others.

The bottom line: There's no price that you can put on an experience that will change your outlook on life, or that will make you a better person. If you come out of a situation even a little changed than when you went in, it's worth the cost.

#236: Painful Reality (Friday, July 8)

2011-07-08T00:01:00.000-05:00

I recently ran into a small business owner that I used to frequent. She is really creative and has wonderful stuff, but her customer service skills were terrible. It would take her weeks to return emails; you'd run into her at a festival and place an order and never hear from her again; and even though I'd met her a million times and given her numerous referrals, she never remembered my name. Even her marketing emails about sales were in disarray: she'd send the same email twice, or forget to include the location of the sale...

It all got to be too much, so I stopped patronizing her about six years ago. Although the potential business she lost from me wasn't that much (I probably would've spent about $200 more since I had most of her pieces), I imagine the business from referrals may have been a lot more.

When I ran into her, she wanted to know why I, one of her "best customers" had just disappeared. I explained why; she seemed very surprised but acknowledged that her business had been suffering lately and she'd lost a lot of loyal customers. She thanked me and promised to follow up to see how she could repair the damage and get back the customers she'd lost. I still haven't heard from her.

The painful reality is that if she continues down the same path, it'll mean the demise of her business. If you're thinking of starting a business (or if you already own one), its financial success depends on your ability to create and sustain great relationships with your clients.

#235: Like Sand Through the Hourglass (Friday, July 1)

2011-07-01T12:03:00.000-05:00

Instead of letting the time slip away, allow the best of your dreams to more fully unfold with each passing moment. -Ralph Marston

We're half way through the year. Twenty-six weeks of possibilities both realized and forgone. Exactly six months ago, we set three financial goals one of which was supposed to have been successfully completed today. How did you fare? Did you accomplish your goal with ease? Did you struggle, but were you ultimately successful? Or did you abandon your goal after a couple weeks?

If you didn't accomplish your goal, what stood in your way? How will you approach it differently for your longer-term goal?

#234: Who Are You? (Friday, June 24)

2011-06-24T00:18:00.000-05:00

Are you someone who is able to take very little money and turn it into something magnificent? Or do you find yourself constantly wondering where your money went? Although nurture has a lot to do with it, some people are just destined to be better at money management than others because of their financial personality.

Your financial personality can have a major impact on achieving your goals (saving for retirement, saving for a major purchase, maintaining good credit, etc.) so it makes sense to know what type of person you are when it comes to money management. I found three online "personality" tests that may help you figure it out. And although they were very different questions, my result was essentially the same:

The Love & Money Personality Scale (LAMPS) is especially good for couples, but can be used by single folks as well. It tells you how you score against other people of your gender. I'm a very stronger Pioneer (8)/Spartan (8)/Banker (37), which means I like to maintain control over my own finances, I don't like to take risks with my money and I prefer to live modestly than to have a luxurious lifestyle.
The Quibblo Personality Quiz is a little more fun. It uses scenarios from real life, so it may be more difficult to find the choice that best suits your personality. But it's still a fun quiz to do. I was Plansy McPlansalot.
The Visa Personality Quiz was also very specific in the choices, but again was spot on in the results, especially the part where they say "Money is for security, which is fine when you have enough of it to feel safe. When you’re short, though, you can feel panic-stricken." That describes me almost perfectly. LOL.

While these quizzes aren't an exact science, I'm sure you can probably find a pattern in your spending/saving habits. And as they say, knowing is half the battle. :)

#233: It's All In The Details (Friday, June 17)

2011-06-17T00:01:00.001-05:00

This week, a couple of my experiences made me realize that sometimes it's all about paying attention to the details. My regular lunch spot, a buffet place across the street from the office, usually charges $6.99/lb. That was last week. On Monday I went in, and the price had been subtly raised to $7.59/lb, 60 cents more per pound. No big sign, just an imperceptible change on one sign hanging from the ceiling.

To add insult to injury, this place requires a $5 minimum to use a credit card, so even if you wanted to control your portions and only get a salad (which generally weighs less), if you don't have cash you have to purchase $5 worth of food to charge it.

What's wrong with this picture?

It's illegal for merchants to require a minimum purchase for you to use your card, but alas, many of them do because they have to pay fees to the credit card companies. So the $5 minimum should not even be in place. I've threatened to report them to the attorney general a couple times when my lunch has been under $5, and they've let me pay with a credit card, but it's still unacceptable.
Even if the minimum payment requirement was taken away, the increase in price is still excessive. If you purchase a pound of lunch each day, that's an extra $3 more each week or $156/year, which is about half the cost of a plane ticket to the Caribbean.

My second experience happened when I was booking my hotel room for an upcoming trip. One hotel was $99, the other was $111. Going for the cheaper one is a no-brainer, right? But it turns out that the more expensive hotel was a 4-star, 4-diamond hotel located more centrally, while the other was a hotel chain that would require more cabs to get around.

Sometimes it's all in the details, which is why it's so important to read the fine print.

#232: Knowing Is Half the Battle (Friday, June 10)

2011-06-10T06:18:00.000-05:00

The other day, someone mentioned the practice of redlining. I'd heard the term before and had a general sense of what it meant, but wanted to do some more research. The context of the discussion was that it was an old practice that happened in the pre-Civil Rights era, but as I read more, I realized that it's still happening today.

It seems crazy to me that I can be denied services or credit, or charged a higher interest rate just based upon my zip code, but that's pretty much what redlining is. And since I live in a predominantly black neighborhood, it means that a whole race of people are automatically lumped into the same category, regardless of their individual credit worthiness. Unfortunately, redlining is not just about financial services; it's also about food. I've often complained about the caliber of fruit in my neighborhood which is way different than say, the fruit in 10024. And it's probably no coincidence that there are more liquor stores, check cashing places and rent-to-own stores per square mile in my neighborhood than there are in 10019. All this because of zoning.

But what really blew me away, was reading a story about Kevin Johnson, whose Amex credit card limit was reduced by $7,000 because of where he shopped. Yes, where he shopped. The reason? "Other customers who have used their card at establishments where you recently shopped have a poor repayment history with American Express." Financially profiling aside, do you know the damage a $7k reduction in your limit can wreak on your credit score? And all because of where he shopped. The story is a couple years old, but the lesson is still important: knowing about the practices that could affect your finances is very important.

Kevin started a website based on his experience with is a WEALTH of information about credit developments. Check it out: www.newcreditrules.com

#231: Dealing With Your Issues (Friday, June 3)

2011-06-03T06:25:00.000-05:00

After last week's Good Friday entry, I got an email from a woman I didn't know. Her friend had forwarded it to her as a "mini-intervention." The woman writes:

I was offended when my friend sent this to me. I thought she was being condescending. But when I read it, I understood and I was even a little scared. I didn't realize that my bad could hurt my kids' chances of getting loans for school (and they will need them)...I'm signing up to speak to a non-profit debt counselor to help me get my finances under control.

The good news is that she's realized that she has some things to work out. I think that's half the battle. It's much easier to resolve your finances when you know what you need to work on.

Here's to financial empowerment!

#230: Newton's Third Law of Motion (Friday, May 27)

2011-05-27T06:20:00.001-05:00

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. -Sir Isaac Newton, Laws of Motion

Unfortunately, many people don't realize that not paying your bills on time could affect your loved ones too. Here's a true story:

A friend of mine (we'll call her Pam) was really bad at money management. She had multiple credit cards and store cards which she rarely paid on time, and very time I visited her house, she was either dodging a phone call from a bill collector or there were numerous "Past Due" notices on her kitchen table. There'd even be times when I called and her cell phone would be shut off because she hadn't paid the bill on time. And to add insult to injury, she always has new clothes for every occasion.

A few years ago, Pam's son was ready for college. She hadn't saved any money for him. ("Oh, he'll get a scholarship, or financial aid, or take out loans and work," she'd said when I suggested she open a college savings account for him.) Unfortunately, since scholarships are usually so competitive, he didn't get any of the ones he applied for. Even with his financial aid (which included work study), he would still have to come up with about 40% of the funds for each school year. Since he had work study, he didn't have enough time to get another job and keep up his credit load, so the only other option was to take out a loan.

He applied for a student loan, but the bank told him he needed a guarantor, who would accept responsibility for the loan in case he defaulted. He used his mother's name, but because of her credit history, they said he needed a second guarantor. Alas, since Pam's poor money management was no secret, none of her family members or friends wanted to take on that responsibility.

He decided to take a couple years off to work until he could afford to go to school. He still hasn't gone back.

The moral of the story: you don't have to pay your bills on time, but don't be surprised when it prevents you from reaching other goals such as owning a home, sending your kid to college or getting a job you've always wanted (yes! more employers are looking at your credit history these days before they hire you).

#229: 3 Things You Need to Know About Retirement (Friday, May 20)

2011-05-20T06:40:00.000-05:00

So recently I had a conversation with a friend who didn't realize that Social Security was in trouble and might not be around by the time we get to retirement. I was completely shocked by this, since I write about these statistics every day and just assumed everyone knew. Then I had a similar conversation with another friend and realized that many people are in the know, so here are five things you need to know about retirement:

Last week the Trustees of the Social Security Fund released their 2011 Annual Report. The report shows a projected deficit of $46 million for 2011, and that the Social Security reserves will be exhausted in 2036, a year earlier than previous projections. This means that unless Congress comes up with a plan to fund Social Security (which, given the current budget problems, is a bleak prospect), tax income would only be sufficient to pay 3/4 of scheduled benefits through 2085.
Given current medical enhancements, people are living longer than any generations before them. This means that you could spend 30 years or more in retirement. Since the reserves expire in 25 years and the tax income will last only another 49 years, those of us in our 30s or younger, need to start saving our own money for retirement.
The average monthly SS benefit is $1,077...not nearly enough to cover expenses such as mortgage/rent, food, healthcare costs, etc.

This isn't to scare you, but it is to make sure you know you have to be proactive and start making a plan now. Assume you will not get full SS benefits and that you'll spend 30+ years in retirement. Assume you'll need a monthly income (comparable to what you use now) to live on in those 30 years.

Start today by taking one small step: Maximize your contributions to your 401(k) or other retirement account--especially if you are lucky enough to have a company match. It's money you're leaving on the table.

#228: How to Get to 100% (Friday, May 13)

2011-05-13T07:38:00.002-05:00

I’ve been learning a lot about credit lately—even some things that I didn’t know I didn’t know. Last week, I learned about the factors that make up one’s FICO (Fair Isaacs) score. This is really good information to know, especially if you plan to make a major purchase in the future. Here are the five things that make up your credit score:

Payment history: 35% - This takes into account how often you’ve paid on time, how many times you’ve been late, etc.

Amount owed: 30% - Lenders need to know this information to see how much of your credit you have in use (generally your debt should be no more than 20% of your net income) versus the amount that is available to you. So for example, if you have a limit on your credit card of $10,000 and you’re using $9,500, you may not be an ideal candidate to receive additional credit.

Length of credit history: 15% - How long have you been using credit. Generally, those with longer credit histories have higher scores than those with new credit.

Mix of credit: 10% - This looks at the elements that make up your credit. Ideally, it is better to have different types of credit (student loan, credit card, car payment, store cards, etc.) since each type of credit has its own requirements. For example, the requirements for obtaining a student loan is very different from that a store card.

New Credit: 10% - This looks at how much new credit you’re applying for. If you already have credit and you’re applying for new lines of credit, this presents a risk to a lender and they are less likely to offer you a loan.

#227: Peas 'n Love - The Economics of Eating Out (Friday, May 6)

2011-05-06T06:30:00.001-05:00

If you're like me, you spend a lot of your time eating out--and it's usually group dining. Years ago it wasn't an issue, but recently dining out has become a complicated event. I've watched groups bicker over who pays for what and sometimes, it can end up being a financial burden when it should be about enjoying great company and good food. (I once paid $40 on a non-birthday dinner when I'd only had dessert, just to keep the peace.) I don't mind splitting the check evenly, but I do realize that not everyone is in the same financial situation. A regular Tuesday dinner for me could be someone's monthly treat.

My sorority sisters and I have a great plan that has worked for us for over 10 years. For birthday dinners, we add the birthday girl's tab, tax and tip and divide it by 6, then add that to whatever we ordered. And if we all ordered something comparable, we split the tab.

Eating out shouldn't break your wallet, nor should it be a complicated event. Here are some etiquette rules from the experts for group dining:

It is acceptable etiquette to ask for a separate check. If you're in a large group, ask the waiter quietly (so that every party at the table doesn't want a separate check) and do so before the meal begins.
If it is a birthday dinner, it is customary to split the check for the person celebrating the birthday.
If the group has opted for one check and everyone orders food in the same price range (within a few dollars), it is acceptable to split the bill evenly.
Conversely, if someone orders food that is significantly more expensive than others or more drinks, that person should offer to leave more.
However, the taxes and tip should be split evenly among all diners regardless of how much individual meals cost.
Bring cash to group dinners.
Diners can opt to just pay for what they order, but it is rude to use calculators during dinner. Instead, round your portion to the nearest dollar.

Don't let a squabble over the bill ruin a great evening with friends.

#226: Tap Into Your Support System (Friday, April 29)

2011-04-29T12:08:00.000-05:00

When I started this financial improvement theme in January, I identified one of the key ingredients to a successful financial future: a buddy. Everyone needs a support system, no matter how independent one perceives themselves to be. And when it comes to financial matters, it's even more important to surround yourself with like-minded people who will keep you on track.

Last week a friend of mine had the financial equivalent of a nervous breakdown. She had underestimated the need for a financial buddy, so when she found herself on the brink of a financial crisis, there was no one to dissuade her from taking a course of action that would ultimately be a blow to her financial goals. But mistakes, if nothing else, are great teachers, so now she's enlisted a support system to help her rebuild her finances. I'm glad she's back on track.

I have several financial buddies myself: there's one for investing; there's one--actually a few--for home buying matters; and then there's one who talks me off the ledge whenever I'm going to do something rash. It requires a lot of trust, support and sharing before you can decide to call someone your financial buddy.

Believe it or not, there are a lot of financial support groups available if you prefer to lean on people who are not so close to you:

DailyStrength.com is an online forum where people share their financial woes and receive words of encouragement from readers. If you ask me, it's a bit of a buzzkill, but for some it can be motivation to ensure that they avoid some of the pitfalls mentioned on the site.
The Money Honeys are a group of women who met in a financial literacy class and provide support to each other. Now this is my kind of support group: actionable and results-oriented. One woman cleared $50k of debt within a year of joining! Love it.
For investing buffs, the NAIC (National Association of Investment Clubs) provides a formal model for groups to start their own investment clubs.

#225: Your Worst Enemy (Friday, April 22)

2011-04-22T15:57:00.001-05:00

I keep this picture (it's me trapping myself under a wine glass) very close to me as a constant reminder of something I realized a long time ago: sometimes I’m my own worst enemy. Here a just a couple examples of how in this week alone, my errors ended up costing me both money and opportunities:

Opportunity only knocks once. Last week I saw a sale to New Orleans: airfare and hotel for a little over $600. I should’ve jumped on it, but I hemmed and hawed. By the time I finally decided to book it, the airfare alone was nearly $500 and the hotel deal was over, so I would have had to pay $150/night. I could have saved $300+ if I’d jumped on the opportunity. That wasn’t the only missed opportunity; I found out that Soledad O’Brien whom I absolutely LOVE would have been in the same hotel as I at the same time.

Early bird catches the sale. After my New Orleans deal fell through, I decided to go try somewhere else I’d never been. Providence, RI fell out of the hat. I had two options to get there: the train, which was $97 each way; or the bus, which was $23 each way—and they both took the same amount of time to get there. No brainer, right? For me, not so much. Once again, I debated the merits and disadvantages of both, and by the time I’d decided on the bus, it was sold out. I ended up taking a crowded train with a bunch of noisy kids that cost $109 (I didn’t buy it 3 days in advance so the fares were more expensive than the original price), $86 more than I needed to spend.

One in a million chance? A couple years ago, a friend of mine sent me an application for a housing lottery in Bed Stuy. I never applied. Those housing lotteries are so competitive and especially for neighborhoods like Bed Stuy. What were the chances of me actually winning a spot? I thought. Turns out, they were pretty good. The friend who forwarded the application won a property—six blocks from where I live now and at a deep (think 40% discount off current brownstone prices). He moves in May. I know there’s no guarantee that my name would’ve been selected, but I’ll never know.

I know I’m not alone. Are you sabotaging yourself financially (or in any other part of your life, for that matter)? Are you doing things that undermine the financial goals you’ve established for yourself? Is procrastination affecting your income/earning potential? Don’t be your worst enemy.

#224: Turning A Negative into A Positive (Friday, April 15)

2011-04-15T00:52:00.000-05:00

After last week's Good Friday, I realized that there are still a lot of people who haven't done their taxes. According to the IRS, about 36 million people wait until the last minute to file. But even though it's a more complicated tax year this year and you may have to deal with longer lines at the post office (if you're not filing electronically), there's good news:

You'll have the weekend to sort through everything since the deadline was extended to April 18.
You also have until April 18 to make a 2010 contribution to your IRA and if you're eligible for a tax-deductible contribution, it'll lower your tax bill.

I found a lot of great last minute tax tips in an article on MSN Money, 8 Important Tips for Last-Minute Filers.

And remember the most important tip of all: even if you can't pay your taxes, you should still file. (If for no other reason, it's a crime that's punishable by a fine of up to $25k or one year in prison...who knew?)

#223: Choices, Choices (Friday, April 8)

2011-04-08T06:30:00.000-05:00

Every choice you've made in your life has gotten you to this point. Even the seemingly "insignificant" ones.

With the tax season closing, many people are probably looking forward to their tax refund. What will you do with yours? Spend it or save it?

A few years ago, I decided to spend my entire tax refund. It was good while it lasted, then I felt like, "Now what?" You can choose to spend your entire tax refund on a big-ticket item, or you can use it to serve multiple purposes. Consider dividing your refund as follows:

20% for yourself; do whatever you want with that money. I generally put this money in my Vacation Fund or buy something ridiculous for myself that I wouldn't ordinarily buy.
30% in your savings; if you don't have an emergency fund, this is a good opportunity to start building one.
30% towards your bills; use that money to reduce your outstanding debt. Since my student loans are paid off and I don't own a credit card, I usually divide this between my savings and miscellaneous.
20% for miscellaneous; if you have kids or other family members that you support, this can be used for them. I use this for gifts to my parents and to fund 529 plans for my niece and godchildren.

I promise it'll be more rewarding to handle multiple financial needs with your refund than spending (or saving) it all.

#222: Don't Discount Your Work! (Friday, April 1)

2011-03-31T20:48:00.000-05:00

I work hard. Really, really hard. But thankfully working for a corporate giant has it's perks--and I take full advantage of them all. If you work for a large company, you may be missing out on great opportunities to save a lot of extra cash.

For example, one of my favorite past times is going to the museums. The MoMA, one of my favorite museums, is $20 as is the Met; the Brooklyn Museum is $10; the Guggenheim is $18 and the Museum of Natural History is $16. Through my company, I can get free admission which can save me up to $50 per month.

My employee card has also granted me discounts at the gym, Broadway shows, parking, cell phone service, hotels, car rentals and a host of other things that I wouldn't have thought to use my employee card for (even coat check at the museum!). Just last year alone, I was able to save over $300 using my employee discounts. I like to consider it as a salary augmentation. Lol. I just found out that government employees also get a discount at my gym too, so it doesn't just apply to people who work at large corporations.

What discounts are you missing out on? Check with your employer (and the organizations you belong to) to see how you could save some cash.

#221: What You Don't Know - Part II (Friday, March 25)

2011-03-24T19:41:00.001-05:00

Last week's Good Friday was dedicated to financial situations that you may have that you don't even know about. I found some other situations that could be costing you valuable money: recurring subscriptions, bank fees and state laws.

Recurring Subscriptions: Two years ago, Amazon had an offer of free overnight shipping if you signed up to use their Prime service. I took the trial offer...and forgot about it. They ended up charging my card $75 for the year--the most expensive book I've ever sent. But since I didn't cancel after the first year, they billed me for 2010 in August. Thankfully, Amazon's policy is that they will refund your membership if you haven't used it, so I was able to cancel and get the 2010 membership fees back. Most recurring submissions bill annually, so it's easy to miss it on a credit card statement. Check your statements to make sure you're not being billed for an annual subscription that you may have simply forgotten to cancel.

Bank Fees: Banks are becoming increasingly regulated so they have to figure out ways to still operate profitably. As a result, many banks are now cutting back on rewards programs and a few have even raised the fees on ATMs, overdrafts, insufficient funds and the like. In fact, Chase just announced that it's testing $5 ATM fees for non-customers! Of course, banks are legally required to notify you before they change the fees on your account, but how many of us actually read the notifications from our bank unless it's a statement? Double-check the fees you're currently paying your bank. Use the worksheet from Good Friday #212, or go to bankrate.com.

State's Rules: I just found out that in California, cell phones are considered a luxury, so there is a luxury tax on them. Yes, you'll have to pay your taxes, but knowing is half the battle and you can make more informed decisions.

#220: What You Don't Know You Don't Know (Friday, March 18)

2011-03-18T05:57:00.001-05:00

Last January, I got a new phone. I'd never gotten insurance on my phone before, but after hearing that they would replace the phone, no questions asked, I thought it was a pretty good deal. So I got the insurance and have been paying my premiums faithfully ever since.

A couple days ago, I accidentally dropped my phone and my display went dead. I took it into AT&T who told me it was covered by my insurance. I was ecstatic. I called the insurance company to file a claim. "Sure, we can send a new one in the mail right away!" the associate promised. But if you remember, I got my insurance license last September so I'm a little more informed and knew to ask about the deductible. It was $125. Did I mention that after my rebate the phone cost me $99?! So the deductible plus the sum of my premiums ($75) was twice what the original phone had cost me.

To add insult to injury, they were going to send me a refurbished phone and while they could give me a Blackberry, they couldn't guarantee that I would receive the same model phone as I'd previously had.

What are you paying for that isn't financially beneficial?

By the way, you should have completed (or be very close to completing) your 3-month financial goal by now. How are you doing?

#219: Moving In, Moving On, Moving Up (Friday, March 11)

2011-03-11T00:01:00.000-05:00

This week I got a couple questions on moving in from different people in different situations: one was looking for a roommate, the other was thinking of moving in with her boyfriend.

Moving in with a roommate or a significant other can save you money, but if you're not careful, it could also cost you big in the long run. What if your roommate loses his/her job and can't afford to pay the rent? Or what if their credit isn't good? Or what if they decide to move out early and your name is on the lease? I know firsthand about the potential financial woes that could come with having a roommate. A similar situation cost me a friendship and put a nasty blotch on my credit which it took nearly five years to clear. But moving in can be a great financial decision, if you know how to play it smart:

Moving in With A Significant Other

DON'T completely merge all your finances with a significant other until you're married.
DO split bills and rent equitably, based upon your income. For example, if one person makes $2,000/mth and the other makes $4,000/mth, use percentage of income when calculating bills.
DO discuss the goal of moving in: is it just to save money or is it in preparation for marriage?
DO discuss spending habits and attitudes about money, as well as future financial goals.

Moving in With A Roommate

DO draft a roommate agreement that outlines the course of action that will be taken if a roommate defaults on the rent, any of the bills or decides to leave early.
DO try to find an apartment with utilities included so there is only one bill to split.
DON'T put all the bills in your name. Either put both names on the bills or alternate bill responsibility (put your name on the gas, and your roommate's name on the electricity).
DON'T share grocery bills. Although it can work out, it usually creates more of a hassle than it's worth (are you really going to keep track of who drank most of the milk?)
DO get a credit check of your potential roommate and also agree to provide one. If someone has a history of non-payment or late payments, they may the same way when it comes to paying rent and bills.
DO try to negotiate separate lease agreements with your landlord, so that if your roommate leaves, you won't be responsible for the rent.
DO create a pool (each contribute $50/month) for shared expenses (toilet paper, common area furnishings, etc.)

#218: The Cost of Keeping Up with the Joneses (Friday, March 4)

2011-03-04T06:28:00.002-05:00

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
-Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

Earlier this week my cousin and I were talking about keeping up with the Joneses. A few hours later, I got this article in my newsfeed, so I thought it was a sign that it should be the topic of this week's Good Friday.

Many people use those around them as the benchmark for how they live their lives. The result of trying to "keep up with the Joneses" means that many people are living above their means. Even something as simple as maintaining your lawn could get you into financial trouble. The reality is that the Joneses are broke:

Nearly half of Americans spend more than they earn each year.
Over 1.5 million people filed for bankruptcy in 201o, a 9% increase over 2009.
26% of Americans (and 51% of African-Americans) admit to not paying all of their bills on time.

It's important to enjoy your life and the things you've worked hard for, but we can all use a few tips on how to keep ourselves in check:

Keep your credit card debt between 25% and 30% of your credit limit.
Keep your debt-to-income ratio at or below 36%. If your DTI is between 43% and 49%, financial difficulties are imminent. If your DTI is over 50%, you may need to get financial help (credit counseling) to get your finances under control.
Build your net worth with real assets. A fancy car may be nice, but the value of cars depreciate quickly. Consider assets that will add value to your net worth over time.

#217: Unhealthy Relationships (Friday, February 25)

2011-02-25T00:05:00.001-05:00

There are some relationships in life that work perfectly and then there are those that need some work. Unfortunately, it's these unhealthy relationships that most consume our lives. Your relationship with your finances is no different. Before you can really start improving your financial status, you should evaluate your relationship with money.

An unhealthy financial situation can have massive consequences. It can derail your goals (purchasing a home, starting your own business, having children), mess up your marriage and cause problems in your friendships.

Consider the following questions when evaluating your relationship with money:

Are you still on track to accomplish the 3 financial goals you set at the beginning of the year? If not, what has delayed your schedule?
Do you often make purchases you know you cannot afford?
Do you often forget to pay bills or consistently pay them late?
Do you shop or make unnecessary purchases when you're stressed or unhappy?
Are you living within your means?

Answering these questions can help you actively think about the behaviors that may be sabotaging your financial goals.

#216: In Case of Emergency (Friday, February 18)

2011-02-18T07:00:00.002-05:00

I once read something that said most people are just an emergency away from being homeless. It's a scary thought, but it really does take only one unforseen situation (losing a job or an illness) for a lot of people to find themselves in dire financial straits.

Are you prepared?

The Idea: Begin creating an emergency fund for 3-6 months of your living expenses. Keep this fund in a separate account from the rest of your savings/checking. I recommend an online account. Your living expenses include all the bills you currently pay now: rent/mortgage, car payment, utilities, student loan (although you may be able to defer these payments), groceries, etc.

You're probably wondering where the money to create your emergency fund is going to come from. Well, we've already identified a few areas in previous Good Fridays:
- The fees you could save by re-evaluating your bank
- Earning extra cash that you dedicate directly to your emergency fund.
- The money you save by prioritizing your needs over your wants.

We'll have more opportunities to add to your emergency fund throughout this year's Good Friday.

#215: Missed Opportunity? (Friday, February 11)

2011-02-11T06:58:00.002-05:00

I'm usually a practical, no-nonsense kinda gal. But every so often, I go completely nuts and have an impractical yearning for something that I know just doesn't make sense.

In 2008, it was the Christian Louboutin Goya shoes. They were $945 when they came out, but I had a "hook up" where I could get it for $750. At the time and even at that price, it was $100 shy of my monthly rent and nearly four student loan payments, but I didn't care. I wanted those shoes. I ended up putting the money into my online banking account, where it was less accessible. Since then, I've earned $75 in interest.

The Idea: For major purchases, determine whether it is a want or a need. If it's a want, consider the following questions:

Will making this purchase keep me on track to meet the three financial goals I set for myself this year?
Is this a temporary satisfaction or will it benefit my long-term financial future?
What do I have to give up to purchase this item?

Your answers to these questions may help you determine whether you should purchase this item.

#214: Five Ways to Earn Extra Cash (Friday, February 4)

2011-02-04T06:39:00.002-05:00

In this economy, a lot of folks are trying to make extra money. If you have a talent, you can probably rely on that for some additional income, but if your talents can't make you extra cash, here are five tips that I've either done or considered doing:

Become a life coach. It sounds crazy and difficult, but you'd be surprised to know how many people are willing to pay big bucks for someone to talk them through life's challenges (just look on Craigslist). You can go do it the right way by registering with the International Coach Federation (www.coachfederation.org), or if you have a knack for motivating others, you can just...set up shop. A friend of mine went the unofficial way, and now she's charging $125 an hour. Not bad right?
Sublet your apartment. If you're going to be out of town (or you spend a lot of time at someone else's place) and you don't mind strangers around your stuff, you can sublet your apartment for a bit of cash. Many tourists are going with that option since it's usually cheaper than a hotel and offers more freedom. List on sublet.com or craigslist.org
Write people's online dating profiles. I used to do this a few years ago. Yes, people paid me to make them sound witty and cool online and I charged them $40 for it.
Become a tour guide. I don't know if this will work everywhere, but in New York, you can get paid about $50/hour for walking tours. You just have to know a little history about the tour sites. I researched Foods of New York (www.foodsofny.com), but considering our current weather, I decided to postpone until the summer.
Watch TV. It sounds crazy, but you can make about $15 an hour watching TV through Nielsen. I know because I actually researched getting paid for watching all these reality shows that I do. Visit www.iagr.net for more information.

The ideas above are the ones I personally looked into, but if you're looking for more money-making tips, check out Time Out New York's 75 Ways to Make Money Now. A bunch of awesome ideas ranging from selling one's eggs to participating in clinical trials.

#213: What's Your Time Worth? (Friday, January 28)

2011-01-27T23:36:00.002-05:00

Many of us have been there before: we're in a job that we dislike or that doesn't challenge us to our full potential, so we spend the day browsing the web, chatting on Facebook or Twitter or playing online computer games. And even after the company blocked all the fun sites, we still find a way to access them on our smartphones. I've been there before...and that's how I knew it was time to find a more challenging opportunity.

Now don't get me wrong; I'm not saying that you should spend every minute of the work day working. I know social connections are very important. BUT, if you're spending more time at work on social networking sites or browsing the web than you are working, you are devaluing the worth of your time.

I know you're probably thinking "What does this have to do with my finances?" Everything. Time is money, and the more time you waste, the more opportunities you waste to increase your earning power. Mark Zuckerberg, Oprah, Bill Gates and Warren Buffet all have the same amount of hours in a day that we do and I don't perceive them to be any smarter than you or I. The difference is how they use their time.

The Idea: Limit your non-work-related web browsing to ONE hour per workday. Break it up into 5-10 minute intervals between projects, but no more than one hour. If you have "down time" during the rest of the work day, spend it productively: research possible business ventures that you could start on the side to earn extra income, take an online course, learn about some new area of your company (you never know where your next opportunity will come from)...something that will ultimately improve your life or your knowledge in the long run.

#212: More Bank for Your Buck (Friday, January 21)

2011-01-20T23:18:00.002-05:00

I dunno about your bank, but mine charges me whenever I use another bank's ATM...this is in addition to that bank's ATM fees. So depending on which bank I chose, I ended up paying up to $3 to withdraw my own money. A few years ago, I did an experiment: I went through my bank statements and added up all the ATM fees for an entire year. I think it was $154. $154 of my own money wasted on fees -- and this was before the credit crisis!

But since I travel overseas a lot and my bank is one of the two I've seen with multiple ATMs in the countries that I travel to, I figured it was a small price to pay to have international access to my money. But things and times have changed. Many banks are raising their fees and providing less services.

Of course, you can always go with the good ol' trusted Credit Union (they're non-profit institutions, whereas banks are for-profit institutions), but alas not everyone will be eligible to join a credit union. So if you fall into the latter, group...

The Idea: Audit your bank to make sure you're getting the most "bank for your buck", and if you're not, shop around for a bank that's better suited to your needs. Some things to consider:

Online banks may pay a higher interest rate, but accessing your funds in an emergency can take longer.
A local bank may know you personally and may even have better customer service, but if you travel to another state, they may not have a presence there.
If you've been at your bank for a long time and you want to stay there, consider negotiating for some of the services you need that they don't offer (or offer for a fee). They want to keep you as a customer, so they may be willing to hear you out.

If you need help, you can compare banks' features and services on Bankrate.com, or you can use my own personal bank shopping checklist.

Time Required: Varies, depending on your level of research and the features you're looking for.

#211: The Barriers (Friday, January 14)

2011-01-14T09:26:00.002-05:00

Last week we started a new theme of financial health in 2011. You were supposed to set three goals for 2011. Did you do it? Well, hopefully you did because today we're building on that.

Have you ever noticed that the minute you declare a goal, sometimes it seems like the universe purposely puts barriers up to prevent you from achieving that goal? Like the time I said I was going to become a firefighter and the mailing packet from the Black Firefighters Association never showed up, so I couldn't attend the study sessions they offered to pass the test (which I eventually did). And then the training was all the way out in Randall's Island. I had to take 2 trains and a bus to get there on time...and then being the only girl in the class, which really depressed me more than anything else...But I digress. The point is there will always be obstacles when you declare a goal. But this time we're prepared.

The Idea: For each of the three financial goals you developed last week, list all the potential barriers that may prevent you from achieving them. Once you know what the barriers are you can effectively prevent them from sidetracking your goals.

For example, one of my financial goals is to earn more money to fund my volunteer vacations. Some of the barriers I forsee are:

Not being able to get a higher paying job because of the market
Allotting the time to manage and promote my freelance writing
Not being able to charge the appropriate fee because of the economy

Time Required: 20 minutes

#210: 52 Ways to Improve Your Financial Health (Friday, January 7)

2011-01-07T06:26:00.002-05:00

So here we are. Seven days into a new year and until last night, I hadn't really decided what this year's theme for Good Friday was going to be. I kind of feel like, we've done so much; In 2007, we explored 52 ways to make a difference, in 2008 our theme was "Enjoy Life", in 2009 Good Friday went green and we just finished a year of profiling some of the people around me who inspire me to be excellent.

So where do I go from here? In the past month I've gotten so many questions from friends about finances so the natural progression seemed to be to go in that direction. So here I am. I'm not an expert; I do have licenses and certifications that say if I wanted to, I could start advising people on investing, help them develop investment portfolios or sell them insurance. My job is to write about investment products in terms that the everyday person can understand. And I have been teaching financial education workshops for the past three years. But I wouldn't say I'm an expert.

So are you with me? Do you want to improve your financial health in 2011? Let's do it together...

The Idea: Develop three financial goals for 2011. Only three. Don't go overboard. Your goals should fit into the following three categories:

The first goal should be one that you can SUCCESSFULLY accomplish in the next six months (e.g. paying off an outstanding debt, creating an emergency fund, saving for a moderate purchase such as a car, changing your spending habits)
The second goal should be one that will take a little longer, but you can SUCCESSFULLY accomplish it between June and December 2011.
The third goal should be a long-term goal that will take you into 2011. (e.g. buying a house, paying off your student loan, starting a business)

When you have decided on these goals, write them down in the form of a pledge with completion dates and post them somewhere where you'll see them everyday (bathroom mirror, use them as your computer screensaver, etc.). Here are some examples:

"I WILL save 6 months of living expenses by June 7, 2011."
"I WILL pay off at least one credit card by December 7, 2011."

Time required: 10-20 minutes

There, don't you feel healthier already?

#209: Where Will You Be 10 Years From Now? (Friday, December 31)

2010-12-31T15:15:00.002-05:00

We're at the end of another year and what a year it's been. This year, Good Friday introduced you to some of the people I know who embody excellence and have inspired me to do the same.

Whether it's owning their own businesses, using their talents creatively or to the service of others, or simply going with their gut and pressing forward in the face of doubt, Good Friday has been filled with great examples and ideas to harness your inner excellence. Many of these examples are less than 10 years old, which means that they will need your ongoing support--not just in 2010--to continue to thrive.

Fortunately, I know more than 52 excellent people which means that many of them didn't get featured this year during our theme of excellence. But I hope that encourages you to find and recognize the people in your life that are embarking upon new ventures and support them. Maybe one day you can say you knew them back when...just like many of this year's Good Friday entries.

#208: Everything Cleaning (Friday, December 24)

2010-12-24T15:14:00.002-05:00

Growing up in Jamaica, you're raised to clean your own house. In fact, Saturday morning was typically the time for chores in most Jamaican households, the day when school uniforms were washed, the floors were cleaned and the furniture dusted. Even though I grew up with a helper, I remember many a Saturday spent on all fours with a coconut brush shining the tile floors until they reflected the ceiling above them. As a woman, you were expected to know how to do these things.

In the US, cleaning services are much more accepted and widely used. There is less shame for a single, professional Caribbean woman to use one. LOL. Even so, I hadn't thought of using a cleaning service until I met Aubrey Bryan, owner of Everything Cleaning. After all, this was someone coming into my personal space. Should I hide my important papers? What if they came back and robbed me once they knew that I was a single woman living alone? Should I do a pre-cleaning so my place wouldn't look so bad? Would I have to provide the cleaning products? Should I pay by the hour or by the job? So many questions...

Thankfully, as the name implies, Everything Cleaning knew the answer to, well, everything. LOL. There is literally a cleaning package for any service you can imagine: preparing for a party, cleaning up after a party, moving out of, or into, an apartment, outdoor cleaning, window cleaning, carpet removal, laundry...the list is endless.

The only unfortunate part? It's only in NYC. So check out Everything Cleaning at www.younameitwecleanit.com and drop 'em a line if you need a good cleaning (the new year is just around the corner).

#207: Born to Write (Friday, December 17)

2010-12-17T10:31:00.003-05:00

A few years ago I started to write a book. It was based on characters that I'd had in my mind for years. It wasn't the first book I'd written, but it was the most difficult. I shopped it around to publishers who didn't understand Caribbean culture and got responses that it had "too much emphasis on complexion and color and class" or that "our demographic wouldn't understand it."

I got discouraged. I started thinking that maybe these publishers were right and that this was just a wild dream. I discounted the feedback I got from readers, the people who would buy my book, as them "just being nice because they knew me." I told myself my priorities had changed and the reason I started writing the book had also changed. I put it on the back burner, half-finished even though I had the entire story in my head and I knew exactly how it would end.

But recently, I've had a series of mini epiphanies, which is making me realize that your destiny is no accident. So, I've started my search again for a publisher and I think I'm making headway. Hopefully A Scandal in Sandy Lane will be published soon. :)

Happy Birthday to me!

#206: Personal Photographer (Friday, December 10)

2010-12-10T00:03:00.001-05:00

I don't really like taking pictures. I always feel like I look wrong in them. I've featured a few photographers this year in Good Friday, but only one always manages to make me look superb in pictures...that's Ron.

I've known Ron Arrindell for many years; he's a great friend, travel partner and sometimes philosophy partner. And he's also a phenomenal photographer and designer. Two of my pictures that get the most compliments were taken by Ron: a black-and-white portrait where only my eyes are exposed and another portrait, taken in Egypt, where he captured an emotion I haven't felt since I was a teen. Oh, and Ron is also the creative genius behind the Guerilla Good logo on the homepage. A mash-up of me and Che...love it!

So if you ever need graphic design or photography, contact Ron via his website (which is currently under construction) at http://www.r-fp.com/ .

Be excellent!

#205: Beyond Bijoux (Friday, December 3)

2010-12-03T15:11:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it; we only have three more Fridays in the year. Only three more opportunities to promote my friends who are being excellent and doing wonderful things in their lives: starting businesses, pursuing their passions and leaving their little imprints on this big world.

Today's Good Friday is courtesy of my friend Amanda. I'm ashamed to say that although she's been pursuing this passion for a long time, I only recently found out about it after admiring something she was wearing. Life's like that sometimes, I suppose.

Amanda is the talent behind Beyond Bijoux, a line of unique, custom-made jewelry. Yup, that means every piece has it's own character and flair...and she puts a lot of love in it too (I know, cos she absolutely LOVES making jewelry and she's not just doing it for the money.) Plus, since she's well-traveled and has lived in a few different countries, she also brings inspiration from those experiences.

Since she's a bit of an overachiever like me (lol), Amanda's hard at work creating her e-commerce site and making the current site bigger and better. But in the meantime, check out her creations at www.beyondbijoux.com (prices are in Canadian dollars) and email her if you see something you like or if you want her to make you something all of your own.

Be excellent!

#204: Small Business Saturday (Friday, November 26)

2010-11-26T12:53:00.002-05:00

So today's Black Friday...I guess it's good for the economy and all, but for the small businesses, I don't think it works so much. Thankfully, this year, they've been promoting Small Business Saturday where they're encouraging people to support small businesses.

I thought it'd be a good idea to remind you of some of the great small businesses that I've promoted in Good Friday:

#158: October Blossom - fabulous artwork from Cicely

#164: The Sud Bar - great natural soaps, lotions and lip balms from Charmaine

#181: Aye Shanti - awesome jewelry and headwear

#188: Billy's Light - efficient event production and event marketing

#190: Malene B - vibrant carpets

All these businesses have a web presence and are ideal if you're trying to find a unique gift for someone or you want some customized services for yourself.

Be excellent!

#203: Keen-o Calder (Friday, November 19)

2010-11-19T17:28:00.002-05:00

While we're still on the topic of fashion, a few weeks ago, I met a fun girl named Abby. She had a vibrant, bubbly personality and amazing vintage-but-not-in-the-trendy-sorta-way style. After she regaled us with wonderful stories, I finally remembered to ask about her outfit which I adored, and which looked like it was made just for her.

Turns out it was. LOL. She's a fashion designer who has her own line called Keen-o Calder and the outfit was one of her creations. I'm not sure what Keen-o Calder means, but I love her collection (there's a little wool coating in the Autumn/Winer collection that was just made for me and the "Church Girl Dress" is another fave).

Check out Abby's collection at www.keen-ocalder.com.

#202: High Fashion (Friday, November 12)

2010-11-12T15:36:00.002-05:00

He has an amazing eye for style, his professional credits are impeccable (Italian Vogue, Madonna, Fashion Rocks, Zac Posen and Vanity Fair are just the tip of the iceberg), and he's extremely fashion forward (he thinks of ideas way before they become "this season's trends". But the thing I'd heard about Stefan Campbell long before I met him, was that he has a big heart. And when I met him, I saw for myself.

But two of the things I love most about Stefan is the fact that he can just look at something and tell whether it'll flatter you before you even put it on (I've seen him do it a few times and it never ceases to amaze me.), and his apartment. It's like a little wonder land of curiosities and everything has a story. Every time I go there I find some new, fascinating object that gets my creative juices flowing.

But Stefan has made my Blog of Excellence because of his latest venture: Creative Director and Fashion Show Producer for The Fashion Show on Bravo TV. (I'm still waiting for the HGTV interior decorating show, but I'll make do.) If you caught it on Tuesday, you know that this season will be entertaining. And if you didn't make sure you catch up next week.

So here's to high fashion, and here's to being excellent. And check out his site at www.stefancampbell.com

#201: Actin' Out (Friday, November 5)

2010-11-05T06:10:00.002-05:00

I know some people aren't that big on Facebook, but sometimes it serves its purpose. That was the case with me; this week I reconnected with someone I'd worked with while doing the magazine who had been such an inspiration...but after 4 moves in as many years, I'd lost touch.

Winsome Sinclair created one of the top casting/artist management/production firms in the industry. If you've seen Precious, The Best Man, Brown Sugar, Belly, Cadillac Records, Malcolm X, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Dead Presidents, Crooklyn or Higher Learning, then you've seen the work of her company, Winsome Sinclair & Associates. Actually, chances are you've seen her work even if you haven't seen any of her movies.

But when I met her, her accomplishments took a back seat to her personality. She was very down-to-earth and approachable, and speaking candidly about her success and what it took to get there. Sometimes you see the glitz and glamor and many don't realize the hard work it took to get there. But what else would you expect from a fellow Jamaican? (y'know I had to get that in there, right?)

If you've taken acting classes and think you're ready for the big time, or if you have modeling chops, then WSA has some guidelines on the company's Facebook page that may be helpful. They announce all their film castings via Backstage and commercials and music video castings via casting sites as well as their Facebook page.

Be excellent!

#200: Efficiently Beautiful (Friday, October 29)

2010-10-29T00:01:00.000-05:00

Back in Good Friday #163 (Capturing Life, February 12), I talked about my friend Niya, an amazing and talented photographer. I didn't mention that he was half of Ishka Designs, a Brooklyn-based interior design firm that creates "efficiently beautiful" spaces.

I met the other half of Ishka Designs (and the half for whom the company is named) this past summer and we clicked right away! She has a wonderful spirit. Like me, Anishka is Jamaican (I think we even went to the same prep school) and spent 10 years in finance/Wall Street before leaving to pursue her first love (well that last part isn't so much like me, but this is year 10 so...LOL).

But you can tell this is what she was meant to do. I love their design asthetic! From Baby J to Union Street to Jefferson Avenue (one of my faves), Ishka Designs is simple yet beautiful. And they do exteriors too.

But the bestest part is the Ishka Designs blog and the Twitter sessions, so check 'em out at www.ishkadesigns.com and be inspired! I know I was.

#199: Mark Plays Trombone (Friday, October 22)

2010-10-22T14:28:00.003-05:00

I'm not really a live music fan. Give me any style of music and I will probably prefer the recorded version. The combination of the noise, the starting and stopping, and just the general confusion just doesn't do it for me. The Mark Williams Quartet changed my perspective.

I met Mark Williams a couple summers ago at a backyard BBQ. I noticed he was one of my fraternity brothers, so I said hello. We got to chatting and he said he was a musician, but he was very humble...All he said was, "I play the trombone and I'm part of a band." He didn't actually say how good he was.

It wasn't until a year later, that I checked out his site: Mark has been accepted to study at top schools like the Juillard MAP Program and the "FAME" school. He graduated from Howard University with honors and both a Bachelors AND a Masters...and after hearing him play this past summer, I can unequivocally say he's pretty damn good.

The Mark Williams Quartet has a really great New Orleans/swing ambience. For someone who "doesn't like live music", I was certainly moving like a maniac that night. I danced like there was no tomorrow. And he's doing it again tonight, so if you're in NYC, check him out before he starts his European tour with The World Famous Count Basie Orchestra. And he's also extended an open invitation to musicians to "bring their horns."

Mark Williams-trombone
Mamiko Watanabe-piano
Burniss Travis-bass
Isaiah Cook-drums

Buka Restaurant
946 Fulton St.
Brooklyn,N.Y. 11238
Showtime 9:30pm-12:00am
Food & Drink Specials !
Free Admission !

He also is a music education, so if you can't make it tonight, but you're interested in learning to play a "horn", check out his site: http://www.markplaystrombone.com

#198: Empower A Girl, Empower the World (Friday, October 15)

2010-10-15T12:09:00.002-05:00

I'm always on and on about how awesome my friends are, and each time they support me with proof. In Good Friday #194, I told you about my friend LJ who was raising money for breast cancer and doing a 60-mile walk for the cure as well. Last week, I told you about my friend Brent, who's also hosting a raffle in support of his community service projects.

This week, my friend Armi is raising money for a cause that will just tug at your heart strings. The Girl Child Network, is a Zimbabwe-based organization that empowers girls who have been sexually abused due to a myth passed on by the traditional elders that if a man has sex with a virgin, he can cure himself of AIDS. They focus on self-empowerment through education and advocacy.

My friend Armi was moved to create a fundraiser after seeing a segment on Hulu about a young girl named Runyararo. She's committed to raising $6000 in donations for GCN, and is hosting a fundraiser on October 26th to meet her goal.

So if you're in NYC on October 26th, I hope I will see you there. Click here for the fundraising flyer, and help empower a girl.

Be excellent, and be the change you wish to see in the world.

#197: Necessary Luxury (Friday, October 8)

2010-10-08T15:24:00.002-05:00

As you know, volunteering and supporting community endeavors is very important to me. One of my friends Brent is trying to do the same thing and "live in contribution" by raising money to further some of his community goals. He's creating a "win-win" raffle (Necessary Luxury Fitness Raffle) which begins October 1st, runs through drawing day on October 29th and is open to all with access to the NYC / New Jersey area. You have two raffle options: the Spoiled Rotten Ticket for $50 or the Hardcore Luxury Ticket $25.

Spoiled Rotten Ticket $50 (Total Cost of package $430-$455)

Your Choice of a One-hour Thai Massage or Acupuncture Session with Acupuncturist and Massage Therapist Vanessa Hortian ($150 value), PLUS
Your Choice of a One-hour Weight Training, Kickboxing, or At-Home Personal Training Session with Certified Fitness Trainer Scott Morrow (Includes over the phone assessment beforehand) ($125 value), PLUS
Personalized 6-Week Workout Program Designed by Scott ($60 value), PLUS
Spa Goodies Basket $50-$75 value, PLUS
1 Delicious Health Pack (Collection of recipes as healthy as they are tasty) $25 value, PLUS
1 Guaranteed Spot In Drill Sargeant Janice Ested's Boot Camp Class $20 value

Hardcore Luxury Ticket $25 (Total Cost of $185)

One Personal Training session with Janice $100 value
Personalized 6-Week Workout Program designed by Janice $60 value
1 Delicious Health Pack (Collection of recipes as healthy as they are tasty) $25 value

If you're interested in purchasing one of these raffle tickets, email Brent for more details.

#196: Super (Friday, October 1)

2010-10-01T00:01:00.001-05:00

There's a couple things many people may not know about me: 1) I love reality TV, and 2) I love documentaries. So when my friend Idriys sent me an email with a preview of a "format-undecided" trailer he was working on, I couldn't be more thrilled to watch it.

Super is a behind-the-scenes look at the life of boxer extraordinaire, Zab Judah. Now I don't know much about boxing, but I've definitely heard the name before. Methinks it would be MUCH better as a documentary rather than a reality show (which is the direction I think they're going), since the former category is going to the dogs. LOL. Check out the trailer, and leave some feedback on the Youtube site...especially if it's something you'd like to see more of:

#195: Dreams (Friday, September 24)

2010-09-24T16:10:00.004-05:00

Sometimes in our quest to excel and be the best "us" we can be, we get sidetracked by life, responsibilities and "stuff". We get busy, we move, we get married, have children, change jobs, get hurt...and sometimes the world just makes us question or doubt our purpose.

This is just a break from the norm to remind you (and me too) to always remember what's important. It's also one of my favorite poems...

Dreams by Langston Hughes

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

#194: The Journey of Sixty Miles (Friday, September 17)

2010-09-16T23:18:00.002-05:00

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - attributed to Confucious

A few decades ago, breast cancer used to be the silent killer of women, mostly because many were ashamed to talk about it. For many women, their identity is closely linked to their femininity so when an illness threatens to rob them of their identity, it's understandable that it might be difficult to speak openly about it.

And although the conversation is a lot more open these days, one in eight women in the US will be diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime.

My friend LJ is working to raise money for a cure and needs your help. In October, she'll be doing the Susan G. Komen 3-Day Challenge. She'll walk 20 miles each day for three days, then set up a tent at a camp site each evening to meet with other walkers and hear their stories.

The minimum donation to participate in this event is $2,300. Help LJ meet her goal by donating what you can on her site: http://www.the3day.org/site/TR?px=4652845&pg=personal&fr_id=1472&et=YTHsAlo0bAY4tiK1yRIxVw..&s_tafId=237809

Did I mention that LJ will be participating in two half-marathons in the weeks leading up to the event AND that she also got accepted for the ING marathon. Simply phenomenal.

Be excellent!

#193: Parris Jaru (Friday, September 10)

2010-09-10T05:47:00.002-05:00

I don't know Parris Jaru personally; I heard about him through a friend who met him at his "studio" in Soho. He sells wonderful artwork on the street. She told me he was Jamaican from a small tribe in the Blue Mountains. You know that piqued my interest.

He's currently showing at the Midoma Gallery - Salon in Manhattan, and I went to check out his work. At first blush, I thought it a little esoteric, but y'know...I like it. There are a couple pieces (Where the Eye Abounds and Profile) which I really like.

So, if you're in Manhattan anytime before September 18, check out Parris' exhibit at Midoma Gallery - Salon and if you're not in NY, then visit his website at: http://www.parrisjaru.com/

#192: Yes, Lioness! (Friday, September 3)

2010-09-03T05:46:00.002-05:00

I first heard of Marjorie when I was doing the magazine years ago. Someone recommended her artwork and tees. At the time, she was living out of the country, so I didn't actually meet her until years later, but when I did, she was just as endearing in person as her artwork suggests.

Marjorie is an artist, illustrator, entrepreneur and creator of the website Yes Lioness. For the non-Caribbean among us, the phrase "Yes Lioness" is typically a greeting used by Rastafarians to acknowledge a black woman who is perceived to be powerful, strong and the embodiment of a queen. (Dontchya love it?!)

I love her work. She has artwork, clothing, greeting cards and even cute yoga stuff. Check out her site at www.yeslioness.com and her Etsy store.

Be excellent!

#191: Classroom to Life (Friday, August 27)

2010-08-26T23:04:00.002-05:00

I met some good people this summer. People who have interesting passions and are putting them into action. One of them is Diana Blain. I met her on a night out in Brooklyn at one of those events only Brooklyn can have. She's actually the cousin of a dear friend of mine.

So we got to talking about things we like to do, and I mentioned my love of volunteering and traveling. As luck would have it, she founded a non-profit organization that would allow me to do both things at once: Classroom to Life aims to provide educational travel opportunities to inner city youth 9-13 years old who typically don't have the chance to travel outside of their local communities.

How awesome is that? Check out her site at http://www.classroomtolife.org and if you have wanderlust and love to volunteer, complete an application form while you're there. There's nothing more phenomenal than watching a child discover the world.

Be excellent!

#190: Malene B (Friday, August 20)

2010-08-20T06:02:00.002-05:00

The other day I was jogging through my neighborhood. A block from my house, I walked past a house with a bold, bright door. It's color was different from anything I'd ever seen in the neighborhood. In fact, I've only ever seen that color on a house in the Caribbean and Brazil. I remember thinking to myself, "The person who lives here is very creative and they have a wonderful spirit." You just can't be boring and plain if you paint your front door in a vibrant color. It's impossible. For a few days following, I altered my jogging route just so I could see the door that reminded me of home.

Two weeks later, I met the "owner of the door" at an event for a mutual friend (see how fate works?). Her name is Malene Barnett, and she is a carpet designer. We connected instantly; her personality is just wonderful. Aside from being gorgeous, she's very talented: her work has been featured in tons of magazines and she's also designed for private labels like Nicole Miller and Martha Stewart.

And, best of all, she's a socially responsible designer who supports Aid to Artisans and Goodweave.

So check out Malene's website at www.maleneb.com and get one of her amazing area rugs for your home.

Be excellent!

#189: Confessions of an Academic (Friday, August 13)

2010-08-13T06:49:00.004-05:00

I first met Emma Benn a couple years ago at what was supposed to be a book club gathering. They say you should never judge a book by its cover, but immediately I could tell that she was artistic and she was smart. Very smart. She didn't say much, but her comments were informed and thought-provoking. I like people like that; people you can have a good discussion with. Plus, I don't know many people who would've left from upper Manhattan and trek all the way to Brooklyn--in the summer--for a book club. A party, maybe, but certainly not a book club.

But Emma's today's Good Friday for her poetry. She's a spoken word artist who's performed in Philadelphia and NYC’s poetry circuit, including the infamous Nuyorican Poetry Café. She's just released her sophomore album, Confessions of an Academic, which is really about her personal journey as a young, black, talented lesbian living in America.

So, you should listen to her album. Because she writes from the heart, because she's following her dream, and because I said so. LOL. To order a copy via PayPal, email PoetAcademic@gmail.com.

And if you're in New York City, come to Emma's album release party this evening at 8pm at Billies Black Lounge/Restaurant. 271 W119TH Street in Manhattan (www.billiesblack.com)

Be excellent!

#188: Billy's Light (Friday, August 6)

2010-08-06T05:37:00.002-05:00

A year and a half ago when I organized a Museum Crawl, it was a balmy 32 degrees Farenheit. But with the wind chill, it felt colder, much colder. When we stopped in Union Square to refresh, I ran into one of my friends who was out doing an event marketing promotion. We spent about 5 minutes talking before I decided it was too cold to stand around. I didn't understand how she could be out there, so long, let alone be happy and smiling.

But that's the passion Erica Thomas brings to her marketing events, and what drove her to start her own company, Billy's Light. Whether it's free product distribution in Union Square, helping to organize the big New Year's Eve Party in Times Square, or securing a venue for your next event, Erica & Billy's Light can help.

Check out her site (www.billyslight.com) and be sure to call her if you need event marketing or production.

#187: Your Home Away From Home (Friday, July 30)

2010-07-29T22:24:00.003-05:00

Home. Doesn't it sound nice? Doesn't it roll off the tongue? Well, I'm excited about this week's Good Friday, because it's a brain child of one of my dear friends, Kwabena Charles. He has created an oasis for visitors to New York; your home away from home, if you will. Check out his vacation rentals in Bed Stuy, right around the corner from a couple AMAZING restaurants (Peaches and Saraghina) and a great wine bar.

http://www.homeaway.com/vacation-rental/p296573
http://www.homeaway.com/vacation-rental/p294663

Tell your friends outta state who are looking to take a bite out of The Big Apple.

#186: Life Is NOW (Friday, July 23)

2010-07-23T00:21:00.002-05:00

I got some sad news this week. I heard that an acquaintance of mine, Chakaras (Good Friday #167) passed away unexpectedly. If you read Good Friday #167, you know that he was talented and loved what he did. He had a lot left to give to the world, and we shall miss him.

Chakaras' death is a sobering reminder that life is NOW, and you may not get another opportunity to be excellent. Those dreams you have may not wait for you to catch up. Live NOW and life to the fullest.

Be excellent NOW.

#185: Be The Change (Friday, July 16)

2010-07-16T06:48:00.002-05:00

"...We are committed to strengthening the neighborhoods and cities in which we live and work, practicing a hands-on model of corporate responsibility." - taken from Ariel's mission statement

So this week I got to meet one of the people I most admire in my industry: Mellody Hobson. She is the chair of the board of trustees at Ariel Capital Management, the first and the largest African-American mutual fund in the country. She is also one of the few (if not the only...I certainly have never seen another in my 10+ years in the financial industry) black female senior executive at a mutual fund, but you may know her most from her role as the resident financial expert on Good Morning America, or as a featured columnist in Black Enterprise, or for her role as a financial contributor on the Tom Joyner Show.

Mellody talked at great length about being the change you want to see in the world, and living by that motto. It's out of that quote that the Ariel Community Academy, a Chicago-based public school with a curriculum especially focused on finance and investing, was born.

Check out this video, and tell me if it doesn't just make you want to go out and change something: https://www.arielinvestments.com/content/view/106/1066/

#184: Macafouchette (Friday, July 9)

2010-07-09T00:05:00.000-05:00

A couple weeks ago, I went to an event and met the most charming woman named Onya. Born to Trinidadian and Jamaican parents, she went to school in Barbados and Trinidad, med school in Philly and now in New York pursuing her dream.

Before I start, let me say this is a FANTASTIC idea. And I'm not just saying that because I'm a foodie (but it certainly does help). Ok, now for the idea:

Macafouchette (French for "what is left on the fork") is the Caribbean version of Yelp. If you've ever visited a new city and wondered where you could get the best Caribbean food in that area, or you've visited a Caribbean restaurant and have comments about the service (or lack thereof), this is the site for you. She even has a N.Y.A.M. score for each restaurant, a punchy little acronym that stands for something witty...I just can't remember what it is right now.

Speaking of witty, her blog posts are just that. Like the one about making roti with Smart Balance, or the one bemoaning the service in Caribbean restaurants, including the infamous and probably most infuriating line, "We don't have that today." I can relate.

So the site is still in construction, but check it out and send Onya your feedback and suggestions. She'd love to hear them.

#183: Wanna Get High? (Friday, July 2)

2010-07-02T15:19:00.004-05:00

As humans, one of the things that separates us from the other animals is our ability to choose. Every day, we impact our lives and our futures with each choice we make. Where you are today is a direct result of the choices you've made up to this point.

Today, I want you to choose. There's one person who needs your votes, and she needs it by tomorrow.

Sylvia High is, in one word, phenomal. Her honesty, her stories, her words...everything about her is inspiration. She tells it like it is, but she's not unkind. Within four days of meeting this woman, I'd gone from promising myself I was going to go running, to running every day. I'd gone from writer's block to new ideas and new possibilities. So vote for her on the My Own Show competition on Oprah.com and vote more than once (I already voted 50 times). The deadline is tomorrow, July 2.

#182: Where Are You? (Friday, June 25)

2010-06-25T05:00:00.000-05:00

Today is the 26th Friday of the year; we're exactly half-way through 2010. So this week, there is no link. You've gotten 25 examples of people who are doing great things, pursuing their passions and forging new paths in their lives. This is an opportunity to check in with yourself.

Where are you? How are you doing on the goals you set for yourself earlier this year? Are you on track or have you lost some of the motivation? Did other things force you to re-prioritize or revisit your goals? Are they still realistic?

These are questions only you can answer, but I hope your answers are inspiring and motivate you to make the next half of the year even better and greater than the first half.

Be inspired, be excellent!

#181: Aye Shanti (Friday, June 18)

2010-06-18T00:05:00.000-05:00

I've known Chanty about 10 years, and in all those years, one thing has always been consistent: she's super talented. This woman can make anything. Seriously.

She's one of those people who can whip you up a pair of earrings, a bracelet, or a little thingumajiggy for your hair that sets you apart from everyone else. And you can be sure you'll stand out, because no piece is ever quite like the next.

So a few years ago when she finally used her talent to start Aye Shanti Pieces, no one was happier than I. Now the world can see and partake in what so many of her friends knew a long time ago: Chanty was born to create beautiful, wearable works of art. (This is one of my favorite pieces, as are these.)

Although Chanty's still working on her website, there's no shortage of her work. Check her out on Facebook as well as her blog.

Be excellent!

#180: Lady of the Dance (Friday, June 11)

2010-06-11T17:55:00.002-05:00

I first met Oneika Phillips, or Rachel as she's known to some of her friends, 10 years ago at Caribana. We were at a concert and when the performer and inventor of a popular dance asked for volunteers to come on stage and demonstrate the dance, Rachel didn't hesitate. And showed him up while she was at it. LOL. I admired her pluck and joie d'vivre that day; and many times since.

But Rachel wasn't just on stage for fun; she is a performer at heart. She recently ended an international tour of West Side Story, where she played the lead role of Anita, the first black woman to be awarded the part. *e-high-five*

Said one reviewer of Rachel's performance as Anita, "...Oneika Phillips was the favorite, as a dancer and an actress, she was mindblowing. In her final scene, the audience communally stopped breathing. A 'theatre magic' moment."

And now, I'm excited to report that Rachel is making her debut on Broadway as SWING dancer for the Fela! On Broadway ensemble, which means she has to learn ALL the parts and fill in for any female dancer who cannot make the show. Yeah, hard work...they don't just give that to any dancer on the street, y'know. That takes some serious talent.

And in case you've been hiding under a rock, Fela! has received 11 Tony Award nominations including best music, best direction and best leading actor. And on Monday the female dancer ensemble received the Fred and Adele Astaire award for best female dancers. Pretty awesome, ennit?

So check out Fela! On Broadway, and keep a watchful eye for Miss Rachel Oneika Phillips. She's doing big thangs!

#179: Making this Life Livable (Friday, June 4)

2010-06-03T23:06:00.002-05:00

This week's entry is a little different than many of the ones I've done for the "Be Excellent" theme: I don't know Kwesi Abensetts, the person responsible for these images. I've seen him around, but thought he was a musician or something in fashion, but when I received this link to his work, it captivated me. It is "a dedication to the innocent people who died recently in Kingston, Jamaica..."

Many of you will not see this Jamaica, but this is the Jamaica that should be in the tourism ads; the one that speaks to the strength, dignity and the determination of a people who "just want to get up everyday and provide for their family."

Please check out the James Town tribute, the rest of Kwesi's blog which is filled with amazing images (some contain nudity) of beautiful people, and if you're still hungry for more, visit his professional portfolio at http://kwesiabbensetts.carbonmade.com/

#178: Michael Hyatt (Friday, May 28)

2010-05-28T13:21:00.002-05:00

I was going through my little blue book (it's where I keep notes and important reminders on "stuff") and came across a website on one of the pages. It had no name, just a date in 2007. I didn't realize the connection immediately (probably because in my mind, I'd associated the name with a male) but by the time I'd gotten to my computer to type in the address, I knew who it was.

I've only met Michael Hyatt once in person, but I've seen her face a thousand times...and if you're a fan of The Wire, The West Wing, Brothers & Sisters or any of the other hot series on TV, you've seen her too. She's an amazingly talented actress whose body of work includes many of the top-rated shows on TV--not an easy feat for any actress.

In a time when many of the black actresses I know still complain of being typecast or being turned away because they're not "Halle Berry black" (yes, one of my girls got that at a casting), Michael's played everything from a doctor on Criminal Minds and Brothers & Sisters to a drug-running matriarch on The Wire to a political staffer on The West Wing. I love it!!

But what I love most about Michael is her down-to-earthness (is that a word?). Even whilst busy filming The Wire, Law & Order, 24 and Six Feet Under in 2004, she was an avid supporter of my lil start-up magazine and I will never forget that.

So, check out Michael Hyatt's site, and sign up to receive updates on her next ventures.

Be excellent!

#177: I Love My People (Friday, May 21)

2010-05-21T00:01:00.002-05:00

I first met Ray as the creator of the "I Love My People" (I Heart My People) tee shirts. I'd never seen tees like those before. For one, I'd never seen that statement anywhere before I saw his tees, and I'd certainly never seen it with the heart filled in with a Caribbean flag. It was different, and it captured exactly how I felt about my heritage and my culture.

But since then, I've gotten to know Ray the photographer, his real craft. He captures images of carnival that showcase the diversity of Caribbean culture and make me feel like I was right there, in the thick of things. His work has been featured in numerous exhibitions, galleries and museums, including the Schomburg, Museum of the City of NY, the United Nations, and the Studio Museum of Harlem...and that's just the short list.

So check out Ray's website, and if you're in NYC and interested in photography workshops or just fine art photography, give him a shout.

#176: Food 4 Thought (Friday, May 14)

2010-05-14T16:34:00.002-05:00

A couple weeks ago, shopping in the supermarket, I ran into an acquaintance I hadn't seen since last year. He'd just bought a restaurant, and as serendipity would have it, it was just a few blocks away from my new apartment.

Food 4 Thought (soon to be Marcus Gardens) has been around for years; I remember doing a photo shoot there in 2004 for the magazine when it was still just a juice bar. They've come a long way...now it's a nice, cozy spot in BK for brunch or any other meal, and ideal for working too since they have wi-fi.

I went there this past Sunday for brunch and I had a great experience. The waiter was super friendly, and chatted with us whenever he came to our table. The food was very tasty (try the cajun fries), and if you're meat-eater, the Mr. Brooklyn sandwich looked and smelled divine.

Check out their latest reviews on Yelp, and if you're in the neighborhood, you should definitely drop by.

#175: Wonder-Full (Friday, May 7)

2010-05-07T00:02:00.000-05:00

Eight years ago, I went to a Prince vs. Michael Jackson (Soul Slam) party. I didn't know what to expect, but I was pleasantly surprised. I danced all night and left at 4:30 a.m. drenched in sweat. I'm not a huge fan of Prince, but I left that night a convert. I've been going to the event ever since. I was thrilled to discover Soul Slam is worldwide phenomenon: the Prince vs. Michael concept has been to LA, San Fran, Paris, Toronto, and last year when President Obama got sworn in, I attended one in DC! It was amazing!

Stevie Wonder is one of my favorite artists, so you can imagine when I found out that Keistar, the mind behind Soul Slam, also does Stevie Wonder parties. My joy was indescribable! And in 2008 when Stevie Wonder showed up, gave a really motivational speech to the audience and serenaded the crowd, I think that was one of the happiest days of my entire life.

Over the years, I've had the opportunity to meet the minds behind Keistar, and they are just like the vibes they evoke at their events: positive, warm and just good vibes all through.

If you want to experience what I've been raving about for the past few years, come with me next week to Wonder-Full XII. Get your tickets at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/109732 and a portion of your ticket price goes to the type of charity you select.

And check out Keistar (http://www.keistar.net) to see when they're having a party in your neck of the woods.

#174: Honeychild (Friday, April 30)

2010-04-30T00:02:00.000-05:00

"Thrash diva Honeychild brings to mind Miriam Makeba meeting Bjork in the Sex Pistols basement." -Greg Tate, VIBE Magazine

I love that quote. I can't quite describe Honeychild's style, but if I could put it into words, I think that's the most accurate description. In two words, "she rocks!" I first heard of Honeychild Coleman through her DJ skills. I was attending a dance party at the Brooklyn Academy of Music and was thoroughly impressed with the black woman spinning the amazing dance music. I found out she was DJ SugarfreeBK. A few months later, I met her through a mutual friend who invited me to see her play.

I assumed I was going to see another DJ performance. Instead I got afropunk meets alternative, and loved it, even though I'd never really been into punk. Check out Honeychild's music (including two of my favorites, Friend and The Last Time) and her videos on MySpace and if you're in (or visiting) Europe, you're in luck, cos...

She's on tour with renowned punk band the Slits! (For those who aren't up on their female punk history, the Slits are like the mother of female punk bands).

#173: Martine's Dream (Friday, April 23)

2010-04-22T21:45:00.007-05:00

I am unbelievably excited with this week's Good Friday. It has been nearly two years in the making, I alluded to it in Good Friday #163, and now the site is finally here. I can share the work of one of my favorite people with all of you.

Martine's Dream is the creation of a great friend, Debbie (aka Martine). I absolutely love her. Besides the fact that we have a lot in common (Jamaican roots, love of the sun and the arts, etc.), she's just a beautiful human being with a wonderful spirit. Ok, I admit it, when I first saw Debbie's creations I was a little hesitant. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED her clothing...just not for me. I'd never been a fan of prints; I thought they made me look crazy. But Debbie changed my mind, and last year, I wore two of her creations almost everywhere and got an overwhelming number of compliments.

But Deb's not just about creating stuff; if you're short on imagination, she'll also give you ideas on how to wear her
pieces, based on your body type. Our typical conversation goes something like this:

Me: Deb, it looks amazing, but the print...
Deb: ...Is perfect for your skin tone. If you were a shade lighter it wouldn't work.
Me: But I'm bulky around the middle. It won't sit right.
Deb: You need to wear it on your waist, or with a belt...

Her style tips are always on point. So check out the long-awaited Martine's Dream at: www.martinesdream.com (be sure to read her bio!), and if you're in Brooklyn, drop by her store at the Brooklyn Flea on Saturdays. Here's to the children of Ililanga!

Be excellent!

#172: Let The Music Play! (Friday, April 16)

2010-04-16T17:39:00.003-05:00

I first met SKS through a mutual friend. The minute I met him, I loved him and knew he'd be a lifelong friend.

The guy's amazing. I mean, really. How many people do you know who can claim they are a track star, a former Peace Corps worker, a systems/IT whiz, a (working) comedian AND a working DJ? I'll give you a minute to think about it...

Unless you know SKS, then your answer was probably "none". While I could extol his many talents, it's the last talent I mentioned that saved me from ruin today...

I was having a bad day; I wanted more than anything to be home in my house in Jamaica with the burgundy roof, but I couldn't, so I turned to Baby Ace Radio instead. After a half-hour of nice dancehall tunes, I was back to my old self. :)

So if you ever want to escape to Jamaica, but are physically stuck somewhere else, SKS and his crew over at Baby Ace Radio will make you feel at home. Check 'em out:
http://www.live365.com/stations/babyace

Be excellent!

#171: Dress to Dance Everyday (Friday, April 9)

2010-04-09T00:02:00.000-05:00

"Dress to dance everyday." That is the motto of Rowenzita, a little boutique owned by Shireen, the cousin of one of my very dear friends. I first met her in Barbados several years ago during Cropover. She was wearing an amazing dress; it fit her perfectly and was just up my alley (one-of-a-kind, artsy, free-flowing).

When I complimented her on her outfit, she admitted that she'd "just whipped it up" to take along on her impromptu trip. I was completely impressed; if she could whip up such a great dress, imagine what she could do with some time! LOL.

I found the card for Rowenazita when I was moving the other day, and was excited to learn that she has a store on Etsy and also vends at the Brooklyn Flea on occasion. So check out her stuff, and since she makes everything herself, she may also do custom requests, so sign up for her mailing list if you see something you like.

Be excellent!

#170: Funky (Friday, April 2)

2010-04-02T14:36:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time. I love old movies (Bette Davis is one of my favorite actresses), 80's pop music (if you don't have Air Supply, Pat Benatar, Blondie and Foreigner on your iPod, what's the point of having music?), Motown, and 70's clothes.

So a few years ago when I discovered Funky Fanny's Vintage, it's safe to say that I was in heaven. Not only is Serci (owner) one of the nicest people, she has amazing deals on vintage. I went to one of their $10 sales and CLEANED UP. I even got one of my favorite dresses there...I get so many compliments on it every time I wear it...and it was only $10 bucks. I heart vintage. :)

Soo, check out Funky Fanny's, and get on her mailing list so you can hear about her sale events. (Or if you're looking for a particular vintage piece, she can help you out there too). Did I mention I heart vintage? LOL.

Keep it funky, and keep it excellent.

#169: Back in the Days (Friday, March 26)

2010-03-25T23:03:00.002-05:00

My I met Jamel Shabazz before I actually met him. In 2001, I remember going to an exhibition called Back in the Days. Being an immigrant, I didn't connect with the images in the way an American-born person from the 80s would, but seeing those images reminded me of visiting New York City in 89 and being awed by the fashion. It also reminded me of my favorite Spike Lee movie, Do The Right Thing. :) I didn't know it then, but I was viewing the work of one of the great photographers.

On another occasion, I was in a museum store leafing through the pages of A Time Before Crack. I was struck by the timeless images and how happy and relaxed everyone seemed...even if they weren't smiling. I wondered where they were, how their lives had turned out, and whether they knew that they had been memorialized in this book.

But it wasn't until 2009 that I met the man himself. Browsing the artwork at a gallery, he approached me and asked to shoot me one day. It was all I could do to compose myself to say yes; he couldn't have found a more willing subject. During our photoshoot, we talked a lot about his work and the books he had published, about how he selected his subjects and anecdotes about certain images in his books. During the brief time we spent together, he was able to get three different sets of people (twins, a couple and a young woman wearing 80s-inspired butterfly earrings) to pose for pictures. I hadn't even noticed the twins or the young woman's earrings.

But that's the person that Jamel Shabazz is; he'll inspire you with is creativity and his eye for a great photograph, but he also puts you quite at ease with his charm. I enjoyed my photoshoot with him, and it is one of those great experiences I'll remember.

So check out Mr. Shabazz' photography as well as his books. I hope he inspires you to be excellent.

#168: Arms of the Maker (Friday, March 19)

2010-03-19T12:58:00.001-05:00

I met Donovan through my friend Charmaine (Good Friday #164). From the moment I met him, I liked him...and it wasn't just because he was Jamaican (lol). He was super friendly, and reminded me of a long-lost cousin. My admiration of him tripled when, last Halloween, he arrived at a party completely decked in bright orange polyester garb and white platform shoes, unlike the Slick Rick-, LL Cool J-esque costumes most of the other guys wore. He took a risk, committed to the outfit and wore it with confidence. Bold move, in my opinion.

So I was pleasantly surprised when, a couple months ago, I got an email that Donovan was trying to make a movie to bring awareness to suicide, child kidnapping and the like.

Check out the synopsis and help Donovan make his film at: http://www.armsofthemakermovie.com/

#167: Stay In Touch (Friday, March 12)

2010-03-12T16:38:00.000-05:00

I'm in the process of moving, and while going through some papers, I happened upon a business card which stood out from the others in both design and color. It belonged to Chakaras, an artist whom I'd met a couple years ago. Chakaras is one of the co-founders and creative directors of Helen Marie, an interactive design and technology company he owns with his brother. (If you're wondering about the name like I did, the company's named after their late mother).

I haven't seen or been in touch with Chakaras in over a year, but finding his card reminded me how talented he was (Helen Marie is the mastermind behind the "Who Faster?" campaign for Jamaica's president, Usain Bolt LOL) and prompted me to check out the website. The team has a fantastic portfolio with clients ranging from IBM, Coco-Cola, MTV and 1-800 Flowers to Carol's Daughter and Abysinian Baptist Church. And they're a small business, based in Brooklyn, owned by two young men. The trifecta, if you ask me.

So check out Chakaras and the rest of the team at www.helen-marie.com, and remember...continue to be excellent!

#166: Bee Happy, Bee Excellent (Friday, March 5)

2010-03-05T17:09:00.002-05:00

I can't remember exactly when I met Joshua Bee Alafia (http://www.joshuabeealafia.com/www.joshuabeealafia.com/bees_bio.html); he was one of those people who it seemed just appeared one day on my Facebook, whom I accepted 'cos I "knew him from somewhere." He's not someone I hang out with on a daily basis, or even quarterly for that matter, but when I do run into him (for example on the eve of my 30th birthday), he always brings good energy, and ALWAYS has a smile on his face.

It wasn’t until one day a couple years ago that I realized how truly talented Joshua is. I ran into him in Harlem on his way to class. ("Class", I later learned, was the one that he was teaching, thank you very much.) Then I went to see a screening of a film called Cubamor (http://beeloved-creations.com/bio.html), which I found out was his creation and I knew he was a force to be reckoned with. But Joshua is not just a one-film pony; he has written and directed a few other great films (Bold As Love, The Seed, Maybe Dreams Can Come True, etc.) and documentaries like Havana Habibi and Dub Poet.

Almost as impressive is his list of projects that are in development (http://www.joshuabeealafia.com/www.joshuabeealafia.com/projects.html), which could use your support, so check out his website (http://www.joshuabeealafia.com/www.joshuabeealafia.com/home.html) and see if you want to become an executive producer. Personally, I'm feeling the Yard one, for obvious reasons. LOL.

If you're in Brooklyn tonight, Joshua is screening The Seed at 111 Front St & Washington Henry Gregg gallery in Dumbo at 7:30pm, if you're interested. Proceeds go the Shama Foundation fundraiser for homeless youth of Addis Abbaba.

Be excellent!