#269: Just Joking! (Friday, February 24)

"Every skin teet' a no laugh." -Jamaican proverb

Meaning: Just because you see someone's teeth it doesn't mean they're laughing (similar to how an animal bares its teeth when it's about to attack).

Everyone loves a good joke. In fact, the ability to make others laugh is a gift that shouldn't be discounted. But even joking has its etiquette, so keep these tips in mind and you can keep everyone laughing:

- There is a time and place for everything. A joke at a bad time can make a situation worse, even if that was not your intent.
- All jokes aren't for all people. The jokes you tell to close friends may not be appropriate (or may be misconstrued) with people who don't know you well (work colleagues, for example).
- Along the same lines, some jokes don't transition well with other cultures, so consider your audience.
- Consider the joke and whether it could be offensive. Is it a joke that promotes stereotypes? Intolerance? Any other negative connotations? Generally speaking, when in doubt leave it out.
- Don't forward jokes electronically. Punch lines can be easily misinterpreted in writing. And since some people forward jokes without deleting email addresses, you never want to be associated with an off-color joke that was only intended just for close friends.
- Carefully consider the jokes you use during certain events (birthday/wedding toasts, eulogies, introducing speakers, etc.) especially since these events are typically being recorded and your words will be forever memorialized.

Keep laughing!

#268: Are You On Facebook? (Friday, February 17)

Technology has given us numerous ways to see what our friends are up to, arguably none more popular than Facebook. But given the numerous privacy issues that Facebook has, it's important to be considerate and thoughtful when using it--or any social media outlet for that matter. Here are my top Facebook etiquette rules (and pet peeves):

1. Don't post pictures of other people's children without their permission. Some parents are avid users of Facebook but don't want their children's pictures floating over the internet.
2. Don't "check in" people at places. The check-in feature on Facebook is responsible for numerous home robberies. Many people aren't comfortable sharing their whereabouts publicly.
3. Facebook should not be used as the medium for communicating life events. Posting wedding, birth, and other life event announcements on Facebook doesn't remove the responsibility of sending written communication or calling. Don't assume that everyone knows because you've posted it on Facebook.
4. Don't post pictures of intimate events (weddings, funerals) without permission. The organizer has taken great care to preserve the intimacy of their event, so you should respect their wishes.
5. Use your discretion. Pictures can sometimes be searched on Google if even one of your friends has a low privacy setting. So before posting consider whether the image is a representation you want to portray to the public. Avoid references to your employer or private conversations.
6. Get off the 'net and live. Frequent updates to your status can be cumbersome for your Facebook friends to read, especially given the new layout. Be considerate and post judiciously.

#267: A Time To Die (Friday, February 10)

"Be happy while you're living for you're a long time dead." -Scottish proverb

I have been to less than 10 funerals in my entire life, and only one that I can remember as  a child. It's ironic, considering that I grew up a stone's throw away from a cemetary. But I've always been uncomfortable with the topic, mostly because I don't know what to say to someone who has just lost a loved one. I just feel like any sentiment, no matter how heartfelt, always seems inadequate.

But alas, dying is a part of life so when these situations arise, it's better to know how to address them thoughtfully and with care. Here are some tips:

1. Send your condolences IN THE MAIL. Texts and emails are not appropriate. To be especially thoughtful, you can include a sentence that "an acknowledgement is not required" since he or she may have a lot of handwritten thank you notes to send. Conversely, if you are the mourner, always acknowledge condolences and expressions of kindness even if it takes some time to do so.
2. Phone calls are also appropriate, but understand that the person may be overwhelmed with calls (especially if they are responsible for the funeral arrangements).
3. Everyone grieves differently. Some people may want to have lots of people around, others prefer to grieve privately. Respect the mourner's wishes.
4. The family will notify the public of the death and will also let you know whether you can share that information. You should wait for that announcement.
5. The months after the funeral are the hardest. Check in periodically and offer your support, even if it's just a 'thinking of you" email.

Here are some other etiquette tips from Emily Post: http://www.emilypost.com/home-and-family-life/loss-grieving-and-condolences

#266: Putting Things in Context (Friday, February 3)

Even though it's more convenient than ever to reach someone, I generally dislike text messaging. I've had some colossal misunderstandings with friends and family members missed messages, misinterpreted messages and the like. I thought it would be a good idea to post some tips about the proper etiquette of text messaging:

1. When in doubt, call. It is the safest way to ensure that your communication is received.
2. Don't send or read text messages while driving! 
3. Never send a text message that could be misinterpreted or misread.
4. Text messages should be short. If your message is greater than 140 characters, see #1.
5. Be aware that others may have different messaging plans. Avoid using text messaging as your primary means of communication or for sending large pictures or spam.
6. Don't send confidential or urgent information via text message. See #1.
7. Avoid abbreviations. Everyone does not understand them.
8. Use regular call guidelines. Don't send text messages at inappropriate hours or at times when you are engaged with someone else.

Check out these other fantastic text message etiquette tips from Emily Post and TextEtiquette.com.