Good Friday #582: For the Culture (Friday, February 23)

I can't speak for other cultures, but as black people, most of us are conditioned to be private; to not share our secrets and experiences.

Sometimes it hurts us because a lot of our history disappears that way. We don't ask; and our forebears don't think to tell.

So here's another great part of sharing your story: you help to document your family history, and also leave something behind for your children and the generations to come.

The lineage of some our ancestors is from Dahomey Amazons. Dahomey Amazons were an all female military regiment in the 19th century. These all female warriors were a source of inspiration for the Black Panther’s all female army in the film. I knew there was a reason my twin sister @ciprianaquann and I were the tallest girls in kindergarten. 😉 Such a cool feeling discovering a find in your ancestry that makes you want to know more.

“The Sun published an article regarding ‘Black Panther’ film in which the all woman army; the 'Dora Milaje' warriors, are inspired from The Ahosi of Dahomey, or the ‘Dahomey Amazons’. The reason why I am so excited 😁 is because when my twin @tk_wonder and I did our ancestry DNA last year, we discovered some of our ancestor's lineage is from the Dahomey Amazons.

***Excerpt from @thesun article The all-female military regiment, created by King Houegbadja in the 19th century, were chosen for their incredible ability to fight men. •••

Often recruited as virgin teenagers, the fierce women would live in the royal palace in what was then the kingdom of Dahomey – now known as the modern day Republic of Benin. •••

They dedicated their efforts to weapons training, protecting the king and wars of conquest, according to a Unesco project about the warriors. •••

The women made up different units, each with its own battle songs, and were allegedly equipped with Danish guns and their own uniform. •••

Dahomey women were trained to be strong, fast, ruthless and fought to the death, according to reports. •••

Training exercises resembled a form of gymnastics, including jumping over walls covered with thorny acacia branches and being sent on 10-day “Hunger Games-style” expeditions in the jungle with only a machete. •••

They also learnt survival skills and insensitivity training, with one initiation test involving seeing whether the women were merciless enough to throw bound human prisoners of war to their deaths from a fatal height. -The Sun #blackpanther •••

A post shared by Tk Wonder (@tk_wonder) on Feb 20, 2018 at 6:29am PST

Good Friday #581: Insecure (Friday, February 16)

There are people that I think are gorgeous; who have amazing bodies; are super confident. And then I speak to them and they have insecurities that surprise me (such as one of my flawless friends who thinks her head is too big. Erm, what??)

The point is, we all have insecurities. You can either let them defeat you, or embrace them. I love this story:

F L A W S A N D A L L I wanted so badly to edit these pictures. They still make me itch a little bit. I've always worn high waisted everything and felt self conscious about my stomach because fat and stretch marks and the whole 9. It's funny because I've never not been able to attract a "hot man" and none of them have ever made me feel less than sexy in the flesh. Slowly I began to question why I had this insane issue with my body and how it looks. I'm in the gym trying to get healthier everyday but that doesn't mean I can't love who I am right now right? I will probably always have stretch marks so I've decided to get used to it and to love myself just a little more. I've decided to give up negative thinking for lent (and red meat 😢). That includes being kinder to myself and the reflection i see in the mirror. I've had this swim suit for years and I've never worn it. I feel great today 😘 even beside my hot body sista who I love to pieces #happyvalentinesday

A post shared by Jamaican Dawta 🌴👗 👠💻🍸🇯🇲 (@iriediva) on Feb 14, 2018 at 1:21pm PST

Good Friday #580: I'm Judging You (Friday, February 9)

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” -Wendy Mass, The Candymakers

I used to see this guy out at parties. I never met him - never even spoke to him - but I admit, I judged him based on how he looked. I thought he was pretentious and probably full of himself. Then I came across something he wrote. Proof that you cannot assume (or judge) someone based on their appearance.

True Story: I had a baby girl by a woman I had only known for 6 weeks, though the Romance was short and rocky, the bitterness that followed was something I had not foreseen.
I have actually only had a chance to see this Sleeping Beauty twice since she has been born, my family has never met her, I’ve never been able to take her to a park to play, I never thought I would have to “Fight” to see this Gift that I created.
As I am preparing to take the mother to court for legal visitation rights, I’ve often wondered what goes through a woman’s mind when keeping a child away from a Father who wants to be a Father. That answer isn’t important, but I know the lesson is to meet Bitterness with Forgiveness, Pettiness with Patience, Negativity with Love, and Obstacles with Perseverance.
In my experience Love will always prevail and GOD will never fail. 

Good Friday #579: Consider the Source (Friday, February 2)

On the morning of November 10, 2015, a Facebook page titled, "Meryl L. Streep" made this post:

The post went viral and was shared thousands of times, but it was fake. The picture, which looks like a personal snapshot was actually taken by a professional photographer. The words were not written by Meryl Streep (although she did say something similar in an interview). In fact, the page isn't even hers, but rather a fan page.

But we believed it. Because, well, it was believable. The source appeared credible, the picture was a "natural" down-to-earth shot. It seemed plausible.

But in real life, we operate differently. We are more apt to receive quotes like the one above and self-help books than we are to receive the same advice from friends. When you are receiving advice from a friend, ask yourself:

• What is my history with this person? Is there jealousy, past misunderstandings, deceit...or has this person consistently had my best interest at heart?
• What is their intent?
• If this message was coming from my favorite person in the world, would I receive it differently?

This story is a great reminder to consider the source.