Apr 20, 2012

#277: Girl, Interrupted (Friday, April 20)

"Good manners are based on kindness and respect, which transcend etiquette. In every human situation there is the correct action, the incorrect action and the appropriate action...A person's feelings is always more important." - The Complete Idiot's Guide to Etiquette, 3rd Edition

According to The Complete Idiot's Guide to Etiquette, “interrupting is the most common and among the most irritating errors people make in conversation.” I detest being interrupted, especially when it's consistent; it's one of my pet peeves. I've also found that those who constantly interrupt also have difficulty listening, and many aren't even conscious that they're interrupting. But that doesn't make it right, so how do you handle a Constant Interrupter graciously?
  • Some etiquette experts will tell you to continue where you left off and just speak louder, but I think playing "tit for tat" is childish. Plus it takes too much energy to talk over someone. 
  • Others recommend shaming the interrupter with a pointed question such as "Did you just interrupt me?" which they would have to acknowledge and then yield. But I think that's unkind.
  • I will generally just tune out of the conversation; I stop listening and stop participating. But unless the interrupter is very aware (which s/he is probably not), they won't notice anyway and will keep right on talking.
I found these great tips searching the web that I think might work better.
  • Politely acknowledge the interruption. "Excuse me, Bill but I wasn't finished. I also wanted to say that..." or "You'll get a chance to respond, just let me finish this one thought before I forget." or "I listened to what you had to say, will you hear me out?"
  • Hold your thought. Let the interrupter say their piece, then acknowledge the interruption. "What I was going to say before you spoke was..."
  • Have an aside. If someone is constantly interrupting you and you are around them frequently, it may be worth it to pull them aside and address the behavior in a way that doesn't make them defensive. "I feel like you don't care what I have to say..."
Here's to great conversations, free of with less interruptions!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I say you just elevate your voice over theirs and if that doesn't work punch them in the face! lol