Good Friday #600: Make Yourself A Priority (Friday, June 29)

CPTgram: Some time in 2017, I had a melt down. My life was in the best place that it has been in ever. I’m not the wealthiest I’ve been (I was rich in my 20s after selling my properties) but my income (from multiple streams) was the highest it had been in my adult life. I recently married the man I spent my entire life looking for. Had a wedding that was a page out of Black Historical Joy books. I was indulging in the things that brought me joy. I finally made Ocha, which has been a spiritual goal for over a decade. My book got published by one of the world’s most important publishers. I walked into a standing ovation in front of a thousand people at my book launch at Brooklyn Museum. But I still melted down. Why? Because I was BURNED OUT. Like done. I had nothing left to give. Not only for anyone else but for my SELF. I thought I was depressed. I was crying and felt an unexplainable sadness. Then it dawned on me that I had been going so hard, chasing after dreams, and even joys, to the point that the fumes that I was running on were past exhausted. I also was in the midst that f a crisis related to my past sexual abuse. Some of my closest friends were beginning to battle health crisis - strokes, autoimmune diseases, etc...it was at that point that I committed to my self-care. In a radical way. That journey has looked like me getting a GREAT therapist. He is East Indian, (I preferred a person of color who wasn’t a Black woman.) I started saying NO more, turning down projects and opportunities that would leave me overextended. I take naps. I’m committed to creating wealth for my family and descendants and every other Black person on the planet. For my 40th Birthday I wanted to turn up with some of my closest friends and come to Costa Rica to indulge in Radical Self-Care for the Women of Color Healing Retreat. Although the retreat was not I expected or paid for, which made me leave early, and find accommodations for my last few days in Costa Rica, I had an incredible experience because the Universe connected me with an amazing group of 10 other Black women. #fortyisthenew40 #itstartswith40 #itsstopswith40 #selfcareovereverything #radicalselfcare

A post shared by Shantrelle P. Lewis (@apshantology) on Jun 26, 2018 at 11:06pm PDT

Good Friday #599: Be Humble (Friday, June 22)

"A great man is always willing to be little." 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

2010? A magazine editor’s job is 10% editing copy, 20% generating dope ideas, and 70% executing them/putting out fires. • I had this idea to highlight men from every major sport. My NBA pick was this young, new Wizard. I convinced my boss to give him a shot. I call his people, make an offer. He agrees, then pulls out right before the shoot; he is no longer available because “he’s headed to Miami to party with D. Wade and Lebron James for the playoffs.” I’m sorry, what? He’d rather party with household names than become one? Oh, ok. 😐 I hang up and go into panic mode. I have a hole in my story. I can’t tell my boss I have a problem and no solution. I have a friend who works for the NBA. I call her. She calls back 10 minutes later: “hey, @amareisreal said he can do it.” Me: WHAT?!?! I give her shoot deets, ask for his sizes and food preferences and an address to send a driver. I’m told Mr. Stoudemire doesn’t need any of that. • Day of the shoot, his call time is like 10AM. His clothes and stylist @lovingrachel arrive at 9:30. At 9:50, a PA reports there’s either a chauffeured Rolls Royce or Bentley idling downstairs. At 9:55, in walks The Amar’e. Quiet, but personable. He’s freshly cut. No barber required. Make up gives him a light dusting for shine. His stylist hands him an outfit and he goes to change. He does 3 looks for @mrdblanks in like 30 minutes. The Amar’e does an interview for the magazine, another one on video for the site in one take. He graciously takes pics with staff and THANKS US for having him. He rolls out in under an hour. • I get why he’s a Media Darling. He’s professional, efficient, and likable. You WANT to work with him. Nearly all A-list celebs are like this. It’s how they become A-list. We loved The Amar’e so much, he got two pages instead of one. • Two days later, that Wizard’s MOM calls my work phone. There’s been a mistake. He IS available and she will personally escort him to the shoot. Sorry, it already happened. She offers to have him pay for another shoot so he can be included. I feel bad. She wanted church and salon bragging rights cause her Baby made the @essence. Can’t happen. And that’s his fault, not mine.

A post shared by Demetria L. Lucas (@demetriallucas) on Jun 12, 2018 at 6:09am PDT

Good Friday #598: Legacy (Friday, June 15)

Have you thought about your legacy? What you want to be remembered for? Sometimes what you want to be remembered for and how people remember you aren't necessarily the same thing. And sometimes it comes together perfectly.

Happy Worthday Mama! @marlagibbs4real is truly a national treasure. From her, I learned how to give to another actor even when the camera i'snt on you. From her I learned the importance of hitting your mark. From her I learned how to find my light. She taught me how to be a professional. And I witnessed firsthand why it was so important to do so. Marla Gibbs was truly one of the first women to sell, produce, and star in her own show, 227. And it ran for 5 seasons on NBC. She did this all while running and owning her own resataurant club, Marla's Memory Lane. This supperclub was the destination for all the jazz greats. She also owned and ran Crossroads Performing Arts in South Central.Her school provided a space for hundreds of kids to realize their creative gifts. I was one of them. This single mom from Detroit by way of Chicago has shared her talent and gifts with so many of us. I am so grateful to have been one of the lucky ones who got to sit on your lap and find out that geniuses are not only brilliant, they smell good too! 😁 You blazed a trail that made the little me know it was possible to be the big me. Words could never express the amount of love and appreciation I have for you, Marla! This is what a REAL OG looks like! Everybody please join me in wishing @marlagibbs4real a marvelous birthday!!!

A post shared by Regina King (@iamreginaking) on Jun 14, 2018 at 5:04am PDT

Good Friday #597: Look How Far You've Come! (Friday, June 8)

Just stop for a minute and take stock of where you are. Think of all the blood, sweat, tears and heartache that got you to this point. Think of the people who helped (and hurt!) you along the way. And just appreciate that you are HERE, today, in spite of it.

The man in the middle is Michael Ajakwe. Probably one of the nicest, most giving people you will ever meet. He helped me get my first shot in LA back in 2011. I was in NY tryna figure out what I wanted to do in entertainment and how I would get to LA. I found out about this Nigerian writer so I hit him up on Facebook messenger and said, “hey, we’re from the same tribe and my parents also wanted me to be a doctor...” I left him my contact info... and one day HE ACTUALLY CALLED. He spent at least an hour giving me advice & I sent him all my videos, resumes, etc. he called back and said, YOU’RE REALLY GOOD. YOU SHOULD BE IN LA, AND I’M GONNA HELP YOU GET HERE. And he kept his word • So that’s why, when I saw him last week, fighting for his life, and he said, “I’m gonna be like Mcguyver and get out of this sticky situation...DON’T COUNT ME OUT!” I believed him • Cancer doesn’t care about your feelings, your friends, your family or your legacy. It just comes to take. And it took one of the biggest givers I know. And Mike gave his all and his best right until the very end. I love you Mike. I thank you friend. And I hope you’re resting pain-free in paradise.

A post shared by Yvonne Orji (@yvonneorji) on Jun 3, 2018 at 9:51am PDT

Good Friday #596: Control (Friday, June 1)

It's not just the name of a Janet Jackson album. If you're a control freak, you can end up pushing others away...go with the flow, sometimes.

I sometimes cringe looking at clips of Blacklove because I see relationships and myself so differently now. I went from a total control freak to a semi control freak (I’m still growing). I think the biggest thing I learned from @mrjackadaniels and @damonahoffman was that we all need to feel needed. I’ve always worn my independence as a badge of honor; the mistake was using it to maintain control. Vulnerability is far more powerful than control. On today’s episode of #DRLpodcast I helped @xoxojenelle work through some of the same issues...oh how far I’ve come! Podcast link in bio. #Blacklove #3yearslater #growth

A post shared by Tennesha Wood | DRL Podcast (@tenneshawood) on May 30, 2018 at 11:42am PDT