Good Friday #625: Becoming (Friday, December 28)

This year we've heard happy stories and sad stories; stories that inspired and uplifted; stories that made us angry and made us smile. Now that we've come to the end of this theme, I want to leave you with a reminder. It's the last three lines of Michelle Obama's book, Becoming:

There is power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there's grace in being willing to know and hear others. This, for me, is how we become.

Good Friday #624: I Can Do What I Want (Friday, December 21)

Don't let anyone tell you that you have to stay in toxic relationships just because of bloodlines. You are an adult, you can do what you want, even if that means making a choice that disappoints others but ultimately makes you happy.

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On black fatherhood. Today, I had to block my father’s number again. Growing up with an abusive relationship with my father messed me up growing up. It was damaging to my self-esteem, my confidence, my self-worth. I don’t even have many words to say about him except that I’m grateful to exist in this parallel universe. To experience love, fatherhood and what a healthy father-child relationship looks like on a daily basis is an incredible privilege and is especially healing for me. I’m thankful to have a partner and best friend to co-parent with in a healthy, loving way. It’s unfortunate that sometimes we learn best what we don’t want and shouldn’t do from the people who should teach us the exact opposite. Just a gentle reminder to everyone to honor your mental health. If someone isn’t good for you, it’s okay to remove them from your life and not feel guilty. If someone hasn’t changed or is triggering, move on. A gentle note to family members, if you see someone is a horrible person, is abusive, manipulative or triggering, stop encouraging your loved ones to continue to endure the abuse and pain. Encourage the people you love to do what’s best for their physical, mental, and spiritual health not just what “looks good”. Grateful for these dudes and the one not pictured. Grateful for my family. Grateful for my mother. Grateful for growth, maturity and healing. Grateful to share this testimony with you. Peace p.s. little dude loves sniffing fresh eucalyptus leaves. We all do, honestly. Haha. Herbal therapy. EDIT: sometimes people who hurt you will play the victim role, don’t give them that privilege.

A post shared by Ashley Wilson (@ashleysnaturals) on Aug 19, 2018 at 1:50pm PDT

Good Friday #623: The Kids Are Not Alright (Friday, December 14)

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I lost my everything. Jason was my everything and he was everything to everyone else. I was happy to share him, because he was the most giving and selfless person I have ever met. I am the luckiest woman alive to have been able to have him as a partner for five years, almost two as a husband. We had such a loving relationship right to the end. I wish I knew the signs of depression before hand, but jason hid them so well from me. All the while he was still loving, still caring, still eating dinners that I prepare and enjoying them, still telling me he loved me, still rubbing my belly and talking to pebbles. And inside he was dealing with something that he didn't want me to know about. I noticed in the last two weeks of his life he was getting a bit quiet and withdrawn I kept asking him are you ok, you are sleeping a lot, remember I am here for you, anything you need, you can talk to me, thats why I am here. My questions were always met with a smile and a reassurance that he is fine, just a bit tired. I miss him more than words can express, I am saddened that I couldn't have helped him, I am saddened that he felt he had no way out but death My beautiful husband did not deserve to die like that. He was such a perfect soul, it pains me to know that he wanted to shield me from what he was going through instead of giving me some of his burden to carry, I would have carried it all for him. I think if I wasn't pregnant he probably would have confided in me, because he tells me everything and anything that bothers him he would say "baby me have a vibes fi show u" and we would discuss it and give each other advice and move on. I miss him, pebbles misses his rubs and his voice, I would get the most kicks from her when Jason was driving us around in his van, and I know Dino and Zevi can feel the loss of his presence. We were his core, he always said I was the one part of his life that brought him peace and calm and relaxation, we never had a quarell, never had a fight, even when we disagreed on an issue it was resolved in seconds, because my purpose was to keep him happy and his purpose was to keep me happy. That was our marriage motto.

A post shared by Chantay Neil (@365_living) on Dec 6, 2018 at 2:16pm PST

Good Friday #622: No Greater Agony (Friday, December 7)

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." -Maya Angelou You may not want to share your story with the world, but you can still share it. Write a letter to yourself. Journal. Make it into art. Make it into music. Put it in a bottle and set it off to sea. Do whatever you must, but get it out.

Good Friday #621: Lemonade (Friday, November 30)

One thing I love about visiting the Caribbean or other "third world" countries - the people's attitude. No matter what trials and personal tribulations they endure, they press on and are resilient. We can learn a lot from them.

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“The I is originally from West Kingston. I and I real name is Herman Gordon but most people call me One foot Busta. I prefer Busta one foot so I turned it around enuh? (Smiles) When I was eleven, I hitched a ride on a train near the Darling Street area in Kingston. In those days, every youth ah hop train. My luck ran out one day when my foot got caught under the train. Sistren, me never feel so much pain in my entire life. The pain was so bad, I don’t even think I cried. It is true what they say…’man was made to endure pain.’ As an amputee, it was difficult to watch my friends moving around while my situation just slow me dung so… but what the I do? I just trod the earth same way. I love music and anywhere the Father lead me, ah there me go. Sometimes I am here in Negril, sometimes Ocho Rios and at times, I end up in Kingston. From a tender age, I love the art of music. I don't just play for tourist only because everyone have listening ears. Music is the only thing that can free my mind and soul. It makes me feel complete. Where there is music, I don’t feel left out. If me nah play music, I just relax with a spliff, drink a one rum, beer, whisky or Champaign. Everyday can’t be the same. The I have friends too enuh, who give me a shot ah anything me want. Yeah man, one day ah beer and the next day the friends rope in with some Champagne. (Laughs) A Brethren gave me a prosthetic leg but it is not easy to wear it on the sand. I wear it at times when I am in Kingston. He also got me an electric bicycle which I am planning to ride to Kingston. I question myself about the distance at times but not because me nuh have me foot no mean that I can’t live that dream? Nothing nuh bring me down Sistren… nothing! You see how long this beach is? Seven miles long… you see how far the I coming from? Way down there! What if I never start walking, you think I would be here talking to you now? If you sit and think about the journey you will never move. The I have to motivate myself. Ah so we have to live, you hear me sistren? Same so. Respect.” #RealJamaicans #Realstories #Ourjamaica #Onelove #Rasta #Negril #Motivateyourself #thesimplelife

A post shared by Our Jamaica (@ourjamaica876) on Nov 24, 2018 at 7:31pm PST

Good Friday #620: You Are A Person, Not A Brand

Sometimes when you see these wonderfully curated social media pages, it can make you forget that the people behind them are real people with problems and struggles just like the rest of us. That no matter how great and stylish "the brand" looks like from the outside, the person may be facing challenges you cannot even imagine.


This story is a little long, but I urge you to read it all: http://www.findingpaola.com/blog/2018/11/22/my-truth-my-colors-my-layers

Good Friday #619: Why? (Friday, November 16)

What's your why? What is the reason you get up every day? Everyone needs a purpose:

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What’s your word for 2019?(You know it’s 6 weeks away, right?) That was the question/ topic of discussion that came up at a recent dinner with @sheamoisture and their CBO @kimepaige Words like lucrative (yes please), growth, elevate and several other great adjectives were dropped. As for mine... Purposeful / Intentional. It’s my goal to have purpose in everything I do- from the events I attend, the people I associate with to the work that I do. It should all have purpose - Not necessarily to benefit me per se but to serve a greater good. I think it’s the perfect follow up and compliment to my 2018 theme of FAITH over fear. What do you think; What will be your word of 2019? #BeIntentional #OnPurpose #Goals #StayReady #BookedBusyBlessed™️ #ChooseHappiness #StandForSomething

A post shared by Kéla Walker (KAY-la) (@kelawalker) on Nov 15, 2018 at 6:54pm PST

Good Friday #618: Full Circle (Friday, November 9)

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Something you probably don’t know about me is that I used to model. I know I do a variation of that now, but years ago, a friend and I got scouted to be on ANTM, where they would eventually offer me a spot on the show. I turned it down last minute because I didn’t want to be on reality TV and chose to go to NYC instead to try to become a “serious model”. • I moved to NYC for a few months where I would go on casting after casting and have to hear some really gut wrenching things about myself. Hearing all the things “wrong” with you is something you’re never really prepared for, but it’s just the nature of that business, so have to be very thick skinned. After a few months of feeling so drained, I decided it just wasn’t for me and went back to Atlanta; eventually letting that dream go for the sake of my sanity. • I don’t talk about that period of my life because of the anxiety and depression I experienced, but I have to say it feels good to be in a place where I can now talk about it easily. Being in Paris for a project, particularly during fashion week, I can’t help but smile at how some things in life come full circle. // #spiritedpursuit

A post shared by Lee Litumbe 🇨🇲🇺🇸 (@spiritedpursuit) on Oct 5, 2018 at 11:16am PDT

Good Friday #617: Love (Friday, November 2)

Sometimes the most powerful expressions of love isn't in what's said, but what is unsaid.

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It just dawned on me that I’ve known Jonathan for 10 years. He was one of the only people in college who always called me by my full name - he’d yell “what up Ijeoma!” across Harvard Yard while wearing his then uniform of a random T-shirt (the kind you get at school events) and khakis that were always a few inches too short. I found it funny but kept a straight face and would reply with a very nonchalant “hey” and the black head nod 😂 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Little did I know 10 years later I’d be stuck in the house with him while he coughs all up in my face... he’s taking the in sickness and in health part of our vows a bit too seriously and now I have an itch in my throat. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ These stories actually have nothing to do with each other. Just wanted to share that I’ve known Jonathan for 10 years and his way of celebrating our friendship is by spreading germs. Folks are rude. #theKolaFam #blacklovedoc 📷 @thelocdbella

A post shared by IJEOMA KOLA (@ijeomakola) on Oct 16, 2018 at 12:19pm PDT

Good Friday #616: Beautiful Destinations (Friday, October 26)

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.

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“Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations”... #IG family & friends, I would like to introduce to you, Ms. Brenda! Ms. Brenda is a friend of my fathers who has watched me grow & evolve over the years. Ms. Brenda has been struggling with being morbidly obese and has been eagerly seeking help after Medicare gave up on her. My father called me and asked me to do him a favor and help a friend of the family who wants to live! After meeting with Ms. Brenda, she was only working with a specialist 1x a week, I repeat 1x a week and after a short period they gave up, quit and never came back. She asked me could I help her, I asked her can she help me help her? She simply said, “I’ll do anything you ask because I WANT TO BE ABLE TO GET OUT MY BED, I WANT TO BE ABLE TO WALK & I JUST WANT TO LIVE”! Now here’s where Ms. Brenda thought she was gonna lose me, she said “if Medicare won’t pay for you how can I pay you? I told her this and I quote... “excuse what I’m about to say Ms. Brenda but F🖕🏾ck medicare”, I’m not hurting for $ and working with you a few days out the week won’t hurt me and we sure as hell won’t be training just 1x a week, I need 3-4 days a week up out ya. After this process, we’re gonna go Medicare office here (wherever they may be) and show them otherwise. Overall, look at this picture, Ms. Brenda has the most beautiful spirit and like most people who struggle with weight loss, she just needs someone to help her, not give up on her and be with her every step of the way! This is a challenge not only for her but for myself as well. I’m looking forward to starting Day 1 with her today! All she wants to do is being able to get out her bed, be able to walk, lose weight so she can have the necessary surgeries needed for her and overall, she just wants to live! Ms. Brenda doesn’t have social media but you guys do me a favor and wish her luck along her journey. I will be sharing her progress and workouts along the way so that she stay uplifted and motivated. 🙏🏾 ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

A post shared by Dashaun Johnson (@theguruofabs) on Aug 22, 2018 at 5:08am PDT

Good Friday #615: Seeds (Friday, October 19)

They tried to bury us but they didn't know we were seeds.

In 2005, Jane Mukunilwa was brutalized and obscenely tortured by Congo soldiers who raided her village. They left her for dead. She was driven to the nearest hospital (350 miles away from her village), where the doctor admitted he thought she would die before the night was out. But she didn't die that night, or during any of the nine surgeries she had to undergo to put her organs back in place.

Instead, she turned her torture into triumph by first learning how to read, then becoming a member of staff at the City of Joy, a transformational home for women of violence.

Watch Jane's story and the stories of far too many other women in the film, now on Netflix.

Good Friday #614: Defying Gravity (Friday, October 13)

"April 16th 1980. I became me. None of you are me. Some of you are richer, smarter, and more handsome ... but you will never get what’s mine because it was meant for me. My job is not to compete with you. My job is to make my mind smart enough to see what’s mine, My reach long enough to claim it, and my grip strong enough to hold it as long as I want. I’m dedicated to my betterment, not your subjugation, so it’s a waste of time not rooting for me. It’s all been decided. I’m just claiming it." - Van Lathan, TMZ Senior Producer

What is meant for you will be yours...Here's a great story of one person who defied to the odds to live his dream: https://purpose2play.com/2017/11/02/defying-gravity-meet-55-professional-dunker-porter-maberry/

Good Friday #613: When Your Heart's In It (Friday, October 5)

When your heart's in it, you overcome all objections.

When your heart's in it, you never waver in your passion and you persist anyway.

When your heart's in it, it shows.

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Three years ago I was trying to direct a movie that no one believed I should/could do. Resistance at every turn. @chrisp1363 was supporting me in a way I can never thank him for. Then my dude @jelanijohnson said “I think @datariturner would fuck with this.” I wrote this movie about bbq/wine where @wineauxdlynnp was a giant inspiration. When I met Datari we both talked about why we wanted to make this movie and come to find out @wineauxdlynnp was his brother. That’s when I knew God ordains steps we will never control. For three years the three of us me, Chris, and Datari supported, believed, and pushed this rock up the hill together. I remember filming the first season of #insecurehbo and telling Datari that I refuse to sell this movie. I know I can do this. He believed! To be here after the THIRD season of Insecure but on the cusp of directing my first feature with everyone at @argentpictures @renbenzo @skimansteamboat and everyone at Mandalay I feel so extremely blessed and grateful to ALL of them. And for two black men to be at the place where MLK was killed and know he died so we could bring art about our people in a positive way to the screen is humbling in a way that can’t be measured. I know people see @insecurehbo and think I’ve achieved so much, and I have. But it’s a reminder that you should never stop having and reaching for your dreams. There’s always more mountains to climb. I’m excited nervous and everything in between. Don’t let anyone ever derail you from what you want in life. If you want it, the road can be difficult but you don’t get there getting off. I’ve ever grateful to my church home of @universitychristianchurchla and my kids and most importantly my wife @mz_money_penny - none could be done without her. Ever. G’nite.

A post shared by Prentice Penny (@the_a_prentice) on Aug 22, 2018 at 8:39pm PDT

Good Friday #612: No Shame (Friday, September 28)

The social media hashtag #WhyIDidntReport is filled with thousands of stories of people who have experienced abuse and never told about it. This one caught my attention, because it's one I've heard many times.

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Over the last (nearly) 20 years I have spoken with increasing openness and frequency about my experience, but this is the story of #whyididntreport

A post shared by Courtney M (@courtlmc) on Sep 28, 2018 at 11:16am PDT

Good Friday #611: Just Do I̶t̶ You (Friday, September 21)

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“I read a lot on the subject. I studied the texts. And I decided it was permissible to take it off—so that’s what I did. My mom was terrified of what people would think. She asked me to delete all our mutual friends on Facebook. She said if I didn’t wear the hijab, then I couldn’t live at home. So I packed four big bags and went to live with a friend. It was the first time I’d ever slept out of my house. Over the next few weeks, I sent my parents messages every single day. I always told them where I was, what I was doing, and who I was with. I wanted to show that I forgave them, and that I was still their girl, and that one day things would be normal again. They didn’t respond for three months. Until one holiday my uncle called and invited me home for dinner. My parents started crying as soon as I walked in the door. They’d prepared a huge meal. They said that they didn’t mean it, and that they love me a lot, and that they’re proud of me. Things are very good now. We get along even better than when I obeyed. They see I’m doing great things with my freedom. I have a great job and I travel. They’re very proud. I’ve learned to do what you want in life. Because if you do, the world will change to match you.” (Alexandria, Egypt)

A post shared by Humans of New York (@humansofny) on Sep 20, 2018 at 1:10pm PDT

Good Friday #610: Triggered (Friday, September 14)

There you are, going about your life. Then something happens that reminds you of a similar experience you've been through - and you completely have a breakdown.

You weren't even aware that your experience had such a profound effect on you to begin with.

You've been triggered.

This week I saw countless stories across the web of people - women mostly - who were triggered by the Grand Slam final. So many women transported back to a time at work/school when they were accused of cheating when they were being excellent; or not being subject to the same rules as everyone else. I think this sentiment sums it up:

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@serenawilliams said it for all of us who have ever been wrongly accused of cheating for being excellent, for being penalized while others were excused for doing worse, for demanding an apology when it is our due. SAY IT LOUD CHAMP!!! We heard you, we applaud you, and we cheer you!! For the gracious master that you are, we also thank you for speaking up for @naomiosakatennis who deserved her spotlight... I’m applauding all the way around. Here’s to the great ones!!! #USopen #AlwaysEndeavor

A post shared by Bozoma Saint John (@badassboz) on Sep 8, 2018 at 6:23pm PDT