Good Friday #625: Becoming (Friday, December 28)

This year we've heard happy stories and sad stories; stories that inspired and uplifted; stories that made us angry and made us smile. Now that we've come to the end of this theme, I want to leave you with a reminder. It's the last three lines of Michelle Obama's book, Becoming:

There is power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there's grace in being willing to know and hear others. This, for me, is how we become.

Good Friday #624: I Can Do What I Want (Friday, December 21)

Don't let anyone tell you that you have to stay in toxic relationships just because of bloodlines. You are an adult, you can do what you want, even if that means making a choice that disappoints others but ultimately makes you happy.

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On black fatherhood. Today, I had to block my father’s number again. Growing up with an abusive relationship with my father messed me up growing up. It was damaging to my self-esteem, my confidence, my self-worth. I don’t even have many words to say about him except that I’m grateful to exist in this parallel universe. To experience love, fatherhood and what a healthy father-child relationship looks like on a daily basis is an incredible privilege and is especially healing for me. I’m thankful to have a partner and best friend to co-parent with in a healthy, loving way. It’s unfortunate that sometimes we learn best what we don’t want and shouldn’t do from the people who should teach us the exact opposite. Just a gentle reminder to everyone to honor your mental health. If someone isn’t good for you, it’s okay to remove them from your life and not feel guilty. If someone hasn’t changed or is triggering, move on. A gentle note to family members, if you see someone is a horrible person, is abusive, manipulative or triggering, stop encouraging your loved ones to continue to endure the abuse and pain. Encourage the people you love to do what’s best for their physical, mental, and spiritual health not just what “looks good”. Grateful for these dudes and the one not pictured. Grateful for my family. Grateful for my mother. Grateful for growth, maturity and healing. Grateful to share this testimony with you. Peace p.s. little dude loves sniffing fresh eucalyptus leaves. We all do, honestly. Haha. Herbal therapy. EDIT: sometimes people who hurt you will play the victim role, don’t give them that privilege.

A post shared by Ashley Wilson (@ashleysnaturals) on Aug 19, 2018 at 1:50pm PDT

Good Friday #623: The Kids Are Not Alright (Friday, December 14)

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I lost my everything. Jason was my everything and he was everything to everyone else. I was happy to share him, because he was the most giving and selfless person I have ever met. I am the luckiest woman alive to have been able to have him as a partner for five years, almost two as a husband. We had such a loving relationship right to the end. I wish I knew the signs of depression before hand, but jason hid them so well from me. All the while he was still loving, still caring, still eating dinners that I prepare and enjoying them, still telling me he loved me, still rubbing my belly and talking to pebbles. And inside he was dealing with something that he didn't want me to know about. I noticed in the last two weeks of his life he was getting a bit quiet and withdrawn I kept asking him are you ok, you are sleeping a lot, remember I am here for you, anything you need, you can talk to me, thats why I am here. My questions were always met with a smile and a reassurance that he is fine, just a bit tired. I miss him more than words can express, I am saddened that I couldn't have helped him, I am saddened that he felt he had no way out but death My beautiful husband did not deserve to die like that. He was such a perfect soul, it pains me to know that he wanted to shield me from what he was going through instead of giving me some of his burden to carry, I would have carried it all for him. I think if I wasn't pregnant he probably would have confided in me, because he tells me everything and anything that bothers him he would say "baby me have a vibes fi show u" and we would discuss it and give each other advice and move on. I miss him, pebbles misses his rubs and his voice, I would get the most kicks from her when Jason was driving us around in his van, and I know Dino and Zevi can feel the loss of his presence. We were his core, he always said I was the one part of his life that brought him peace and calm and relaxation, we never had a quarell, never had a fight, even when we disagreed on an issue it was resolved in seconds, because my purpose was to keep him happy and his purpose was to keep me happy. That was our marriage motto.

A post shared by Chantay Neil (@365_living) on Dec 6, 2018 at 2:16pm PST

Good Friday #622: No Greater Agony (Friday, December 7)

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." -Maya Angelou You may not want to share your story with the world, but you can still share it. Write a letter to yourself. Journal. Make it into art. Make it into music. Put it in a bottle and set it off to sea. Do whatever you must, but get it out.