#284: The Art of Apologizing (Friday, June 8)

"I'm sorry." They are two simple words, but for a lot of people, very difficult to actually say. Here are some tips to help you deliver your apology:

• Only apologize if you mean it. A disingenuous apology is just as bad as not giving one at all.
• Be humble. Avoid the urge to become defensive and justify your behavior when apologizing.
• Don't apologize then continue the behavior that led to the apology. An apology doesn't absolve you of the offensive behavior.
• Understand that the recipient is not obligated to accept your apology. 
• Choose the method of your apology depending on the infraction. You can apologize via email or text for being late; an in-person or phone apology is probably better for more serious offenses to avoid misinterpretation.
• There is no substitute for an apology. Treating someone to dinner or buying 

What if you're on the receiving end of an apology? Well, there's an etiquette for that as well.

• Acknowledge the apology. You don't have to accept the apology, but you should still be gracious.
• If you accept the apology, move on. No one likes to have an offense hung over their head, especially one for which they have apologized.
• Decide on your course of action if you reject the apology. If you reject the apology, do you just need more time or is it a relationship you no longer want to pursue? In addition to an apology, what, if anything else can the person do to make it up to you?

I found this great discussion on accepting an apology if you're interested. And by the way, you should practice saying, "I apologize" rather than "I'm sorry." I'm sure none of us think of ourselves as sorry.