#283: One Moment Can Change A Life (Friday, June 1)

In Good Friday #263, Peanut Butter, I talked about saying "thank you". When someone gives you a great reference or recommendation it is the perfect opportunity for a thank you. Many people diminish the importance of references, but if you think about it one word from a reference can snatch your dream job out of your grasp.

Providing a Reference:
Providing a reference is an exercise in power since your words can help to determine someone's future, but it's also a leap of faith. You are staking your professional (and sometimes personal) reputation on the information you provide about this person. If someone asks you to be a reference, it's probably because they respect you and think a lot of you (or they may not have many other options, but let's assume the former reason is most likely), so consider these tips when giving a reference:

• Request more information. Ask the person about the job, what they will be doing and honestly consider whether, based on your interaction with the requestor, s/he can perform the duties outlined.
• Respond promptly to reference requests. In today's economy when competition for jobs is high, time is of the essence.
• Don't be afraid to decline the reference request, but be honest with the person about why you are declining. ("I haven't really seen you use those skills, so I couldn't speak to them if asked." Or, "I'm going to be traveling and won't be able to answer calls.")
• NEVER give a bad reference. It reflects poorly on you as well.
• No reference is a bad reference. Saying "She worked here," is just as damaging as saying "She was a horrible employee."

Requesting a Reference:

Remember, you are asking someone to do you a favor.

• Prepare your references BEFORE you need them. Have different references for each type of scenario and know who you will ask to speak on your behalf, depending on the situation.
• ASK for a reference and give the person the opportunity to decline. Even if you have a mutual understanding that s/he will be your reference, each situation is different.
• Proactively provide information about the job or situation for which you're asking them to recommend you. 
• Keep your references informed of your progress. Don't just vanish into a black hole after you've received the recommendation. No one wants to be used.
• Follow up with a thank you note, even if you didn't get the job. The thank you is an acknowledgement of their time and effort and is independent of your success.