#282: How Did You Get Here? (Friday, May 25)

Even in today’s work world, technical skills and knowledge represent less than 15 percent of one’s value in obtaining a job, keeping a job or advancing in a job, according to research done by Harvard University, the Carnegie Foundation and the Stanford Research Institute. Meanwhile, more than 85 percent of job success is based on personal conduct (“soft skills”) and the ability to put others at ease. - Diane Gottman, Who Is Your Child's Role Model?

Most people acquire their manners and cues on how to behave in social situations from their parents (or the person who raised them). Chances are, it was your nurturer who probably taught you how to greet strangers, or showed you how to use a knife and fork, or chastised you when you did something inappropriate like interrupt an adult conversation.

But what happens when the person responsible for imparting the social graces doesn't know what's appropriate, has forgotten, or comes from a culture where the etiquette rules differ? Many parents don't realize it, but they are the first line of defense to ensure that the children they raise become respectful, thoughtful adults.

Sure, most parents teach their children to say "please", "thank you", "I apologize", "excuse me" and "Good morning/good evening", but lately I've met more children who do very little more than that, which, as far as I'm concerned, doesn't even scratch the surface of basic etiquette rules:

• Address adults with an appropriate title (Mr./Miss/Mrs.; Sir/Ma'am; etc.)
• Stand when greeting an adult
• Make eye contact
• Say excuse me before interrupting a conversation
• Do not act up when in public
• Keeping in touch with family and friends
• Thanking family and friends for gifts received via mail

I was happy to find an entire site on Parenthood.com dedicated to Parenting Etiquette. It's a great read.  Early Lessons Have Lasting Impact, Manners for Girls (especially the tip about the handshake!), Minding Your Pregnancy Manners and The Art of the Thank-You Note are just a few of my favorites. Definitely recommend bookmarking the site if you're a parent.