There's something to be said for a gentleman. No, he doesn't have to throw his cloak over puddles nor challenge an ungallant man to duel to defend your honor (though it would be nice!), but his daily deeds will speak volumes about how he perceives you.
I must admit that I've pretty much been complicit in the chivalry I've received. No one ever told me what to expect or require from a potential suitor or a male friend, other than that he be a good, kind soul who is a hard worker and who is ambitious, so that's where I drew my line in the sand. Yes, those are the most important things, but the niceties of being treated like a lady shouldn't be dismissed.
So it was a dear friend who taught me that a gentleman stands when a woman enters or leaves a room or a table (after my puzzled, "are you mocking me?"). That he waits for her to begin eating to start eating himself. And it was someone I dated that taught me that a gentleman walks on the outside of the woman; that he opens the car door for and helps her into her coat.
I didn't know any of these things, and while some of them may arguably be "outdated" or old-fashioned, methinks gentlemanly behavior never goes out of style. Thankfully, these days there are many resources available to help young women set their standards and young men to learn how to rise to the occasion. Here are a few great ones:
By the way, women can be chivalrous too. Here are some ways to show your feminine chivalry:
- Helping him into his coat once he's helped you into yours
- Ordering his favorite drink while you wait for him at the bar
- Taking the seat with your back to the door (since most men like to sit facing the entrance)
- Learning to do men-grooming things (like tying a tie; folding a pocket square; shaving preparation, etc.)
- Learning to make his favorite meal, even when you're vegetarian
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