#417: Kindsight (Friday, December 26)

Hind Kindsight is always 20/20.

Here we are, the last Friday in another year. I hope it was a good year for you, and that you pushed yourself to the limits and really "acted up" as we planned in January.

This is also a time of evaluation, to take stock of your goals and plans and objectively chart your progress. If you're like me, you probably spend more time on the things you didn't accomplish, rather than looking at your year from a more balanced lens.

This week's action: View your year with kindsight. Focus equally on your accomplishments and the goals where you fell short. For the goals you didn't accomplish, instead of beating yourself up ask these questions:

• Did I learn something? (If yes, what?)
• By not accomplishing this goal, did it put me in a better position to accomplish one of my other goals, or did it open up a new opportunity that I might not have had?

I hope you can answer "yes" to both questions. 

Have an outstanding end to 2014, and a fantastic beginning to 2015.

#416: Mirage (Friday, December 19)

I found this on the web. I'm not sure who the author is,
 but I think it's the perfect depiction of a mirage.

This week's action: Question everything.

Why we're doing it: Because things are not always as they seem.

#415: Deja Vu (Friday, December 12)

Doing the same thing repeatedly with the expectation of different results is the definition of insanity.

There is some debate about who originally said the words above, but no one can argue with the sentiment. When you find yourself in the same situation multiple times, it must be due to either insanity or stupidity.

I like to think that we find ourselves in the same situation because there is a lesson to be learned. Some blind spot or weakness that is making you unable to move forward until you get the message.

This week's action: Think of an unfavorable situation that you often find yourself in (constantly broke, can't keep a job, relationships consistently failing for the same reason, etc.) Find the lesson.

#414: Dig Deep (Friday, December 5)

"Dig deep into your soul and pull out some new shit that no one has ever seen before." -De La Vega

The Gold Rush of 1849 started because one man found flakes of gold in the American River. The gold wasn't hidden, he didn't have to dig for it - it was there for the taking. The first people who joined the gold rush didn't have to perform much labor to find the gold either. It was pretty close to the surface.

But as more people came and took the gold on the surface, latecomers had to dig deeper and expend more effort to be rewarded. So it is with life; the older you get deeper you have to dig and the more you have to challenge yourself to be truly inventive.

This week's action: Dig deep and pull out something new.

#413: No Flex Zone (Friday, November 28)

"Be who you are say what you feel, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss

We all wear facades and masks. It takes a courageous person to stand up show themselves to the world, flaws and all, and live unapologetically in spite of them. But many of us spend time putting up  facades and screens to hide what's going on underneath.

The facades can protect us from pain, hurt and bad situations. But the thing about facades is that they're not selective, so they're also keeping the good stuff - blessings, opportunities and the like - out.

This week's action: Let down your guard. Be brave, be courageous, be honest, be you.

#412: Gardening 101 (Friday, November 21)

"There are two types of people I am told...gardeners and flowers. Gardeners cultivate potential, they enrich the soil, and provide all the care and attention required for seeds to take root, bloom and grow. They water, make sure the sun shines just right, and create the perfect environment for life to flourish. Flowers are the beneficiaries of the gardener's toil, time, and effort...and spread their leaves and petals to receive all the glory [...] So are you a gardener, or a flower? Me....been a gardener for far too long...having raised a botanic garden full of lovely flora. It's now time for me to be a flower....a rare orchid...definitely a purple one." - Facebook status update from a friend

I agree with this sentiment, but also think that there are times and situations that call for gardening vs. blooming depending on your role. For example, as a parent or mentor, you definitely need to be a gardener - but you can be a gardener to your kids while being a flower to someone else.

This week's action: Think of your goals for this year. Consider each one individually, and decide whether in order to achieve it, you need to cultivate or to bloom.

#411: One Yes (Friday, November 14)

"How he move in a room full of 'no's'?" - Kanye West, Can't Tell Me Nothing

No.
You'll hear that word often. A word that indicates refusal, that what you're asking is not possible. Ignore it. All you need is one 'yes'.

This week's action: Find one 'yes'.

#410: Pop Your Collar (Friday, November 7)

"It's not bragging if you can back it up." -Muhammad Ali

This week's action: Don't seek validation from anyone. Don't second-guess your choices. Don't measure your greatness and accomplishments against that of others. Just accept that you're amazing and talented and that's the end of it. And this week let that perspective inform every decision you make and every action you take.

Why we're doing it: Things get easier when you're sure of yourself and embrace what you have to offer the world. Sometimes you just need to sit in your awesomeness and that's the end of it.

#409: Checked Baggage (Friday, October 31)

"Your baggage can be scars or beauty marks." -Jeannie Mai

Everyone has "baggage." It could be something someone said to you, or an experience that created, or highlighted an existing insecurity. Sometimes the baggage is unconscious; we don't even know that something is an issue until it rears its ugly head. Other times, we know what our baggage is, but still carry it around with us.

This week's action: Check your baggage. Confront your insecurities. Whatever's weighing on your mind, speak it aloud - whether it's to yourself in the privacy of your home, to a trusted confidante, or to a therapist - but don't carry it around anymore.

Why we're doing it: Insecurities prevent you from being the greatest you can be. Baggage left unchecked will only get heavier to bear. It'll weigh you down. Carrying it around will make it harder to reach and achieve your goals.

#408: The Best You Never Had (Friday, October 24)

The trip you couldn't make. The relationship you thought would last that didn't. The job you didn't get. The thing you worked so hard at, that fell through at the last moment - after you'd given your all. These are the disappointments of life. But what if you looked at it differently? What if not getting that thing you wanted so badly was fate preparing you for something else?

This week's action: Think of one thing you wanted really, really badly that you didn't get/that didn't work out. Now think of all the ways your life is richer for not having gotten that thing.

Why we're doing it: Sometimes we focus so much on the things we think we're supposed to have and to be, that we might not see the opportunities that are waiting for us on the sidelines.

#407: Reactive (Friday, October 3)

re·ac·tive/rēˈaktiv/

adjective showing a response to a stimulus.

Have you ever been in a situation where you're constantly reacting to what's happening around you? A situation where, no matter how you try to be proactive and get in front of it, you consistently find yourself too late, always trying to catch up? I've been in such a predicament and it's not a great feeling.

This week's action: Think of a situation that's currently happening in your life that you're reacting to instead of being proactive. Why do you think you're being reactive? Fear? Laziness? Uncertainty? Think of some way you can turn that situation around and take more control.

Why we're doing it: It's your life; don't spend it in the passenger seat. You control your destiny, so take control of the wheel and drive.

#406: Tradeoffs (Friday, October 10)

"Whenever you see me being exceptional in one part of my life, I'm invariably failing in other parts. In order to sew my daughter's Halloween costume, I'm missing a table reading. Or going to my daughter's first recital means that I have to miss Sandra Oh's last day at Grey's..." -Shonda Rhimes, Women on Wall Street Conference 2014

Last year I had a phenomenal year in one aspect of my life. But there were other parts of my life that weren't going so well, so even though I'd had this major accomplishment, I couldn't really enjoy it because I felt like such a failure for not having complete success in everything.

Hearing Shonda speak this week was the first time I've heard someone at the top of their field discuss this reality openly and honestly.

This week's action: What are your tradeoffs? What are you willing to give up/not do so well, in order to be exceptional at other things? Be honest!

Why we're doing it: I think sometimes we want it all - to be amazing in all aspects of our lives. For a tiny fraction of the population, it may be possible. But the majority of us have to make sacrifices and tradeoffs. Celebrate your accomplishments, and recognize that all the successful people you admire have likely made tradeoffs in their lives as well.

#405: On the Road to Greatness (Friday, October 3)

"Do you want to be great or do you want to be perceived as being great?"

Everyone has their own definition of greatness. For some, it's an intrinsic feeling of accomplishment; for others it's comes from being recognized for your accomplishments.

What does being great mean to you? And how would you answer the question above?

This week's action: Define greatness in your own terms. Are you being great right now? If "yes", what will you do to maintain your level of greatness? If no, figure out what you need to do to match your own definition.

#404: "Nobody's Gonna Miss You..." (Friday, September 26)

I was watching one of my favorite prime time TV shows this week. There was a scene where one of the lead characters killed another lead character in a derangement. Before he killed her he said, "Nobody's gonna miss you when you're gone."

What a horrible way to leave the world. Plus that's never true for anyone. But sometimes we can't see in ourselves what others see in us.

This week's action: List eight things you're great at. Don't qualify them or subtract from them by adding a "but" - just list 'em and be proud.

Why we're doing it: Sometimes we get mired in self-doubt and feelings of failure. But each of us have something unique and special to offer the world. Know your worth. Celebrate it.

#403: The Signs (Friday, September 19)

"Everything happens for a reason" is one of the most overused sayings of all time - probably because it's true. There are no coincidences in life - just situations that are meant to happen. And sometimes, if you're paying attention, you can spot the signs.

This week's action: Watch for the signs.

Why we're doing it: Because hindsight is always 20/20.

#402: Someone's Always Watching (Friday, September 12)

"If you think you're too small to make an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito." - Anita Roddick

Sometimes it's easy to forget, in this day of short attention spans, limited face time, social media and content coming from every angle, that someone is always watching. And everything you do and say has an impact.

Many times, I'll post some random thought or musing on Facebook because that's how I'm feeling at the particular time. I'll think nothing of it, continue about my daily life, then I'll run into someone weeks or months later who'll tell me that my post was hilarious/offensive/annoying/completely true/ignorant/[insert emotion here]. Imagine! Just saying how you feel could affect people in a variety of ways.

This week's action: Make a list of three people that you hope are watching you right now. Prepare your elevator speech - what you'd say if you had a chance meeting - for each of them.

Why we're doing it: It's easy to get discouraged, to feel like your hard work is in vain, to forget that someone is always watching. Just be prepared for the moment when you need to take action.

#401: Worry Is Not A Strategy (Friday, September 5)

"Of course I realized there was a measure of danger. Obviously I faced the possibility of not returning when I first considered going. Once faced and settled, there really wasn't any good reason to refer to it." - Amelia Earheart, referring to her flight in the Friendship

You've probably heard the saying, "Don't worry about the things you can't control." But what about the things you can? Once I was talking to someone and mentioned that I was worried about the outcome of an upcoming project. The person responded, "Worry is not a strategy." It's always stuck with me, and the more I thought about it, I realized that worrying about a project, where I had control of the outcome, was literally betting against myself.

This week's action: Take a risk...on yourself. 

Why we're doing it: Trust yourself and your abilities. Who better to take a risk on than yourself?

#400: No Workout Needed (Friday, August 29)

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." -Albert Einstein

There is something in each of us. It is a gift. Some say it shows up more often and consistently in women, but I believe we all have it. The sixth sense, just as important as seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touch, is the sense we often forget to use. The gut feeling that dances around in the back of our minds that drives so much of our action.

There's a workout to tone your thighs, your butt, your arms and your chest. But you don't need a workout for your gut. You just need to listen.

This week's action: Just listen. The answer you need is already there. :)

#399: We're All Not Actors (Friday, August 22)

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not - nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with great talent. Genius will not - unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not - the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination are omnipotent." -Calvin Coolidge

In choosing this theme of "actin' up" for 2014, I forgot one important thing: We're all not actors. If every single person on earth was a doer, our world would be an efficient place. Some of us are talkers/thinkers and that's not a bad thing - we need them too to balance our world.

And there are some people who switch between action and ideas, depending on the situation.

This week's action:  Be honest with yourself. Figure out who you are - whether you're prone to action or ideas - and be comfortable with it.

Why we're doing it: The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves. Plus, for the talkers/thinkers among us, it'll help you to be proud of who you are and figure out a way to embrace your strengths.

#398: Small Change (Friday, August 8)

“An angle of only one degree is difficult to draw on a piece of paper. It is too small. If a flight from New York to Los Angeles is off course by just one degree, the plane will arrive closer to Tijuana, Mexico, than Los Angeles.” -Small Change by Susan & Larry Terkel

You run into someone you haven't seen in a few months and they've gained/lost a lot of weight since you last saw them. A couple that you've always admired, whose union seemed so solid, announces they're getting a divorce. Someone experiences a setback and then completely transforms their life in a few months.

These aren't random events; they're a series of small changes that happen over time until they add up.

This week's action: Decide on ONE SMALL change you will make in your life. It could be something as simple as smiling more; replacing a beverage at one meal with a glass of water; or spending 10 minutes every day focused on some area of your life. You decide, but do it every day and make it a habit.

Why we're doing it: Small changes add  up. They're easier to make than huge, sweeping makeovers and are more consistent with human nature.

And speaking of small changes, you should now have $561 in your envelopes. If you haven't done it in a while, you can still catch up.

#397: Curveballs (Friday, August 8)

You're on your way to your goals, actin' up and accomplishing stuff. Then life throws you a curveball. You're paralyzed - uncertainty, fear and worry are making it difficult for  you to decide on your next course of action, let alone do anything.

This week's action: If you get a curveball thrown your way, remember these three facts:

• Every good thing that has happened in your life to this point has been the result of a change.
• Don't focus on what has happened - it's the past. Put your energy into creating meaningful results based on what is.
• Change = opportunity. Breathe, smile and make that opportunity your own.

#396: What Have You Done For Me Lately? (Friday, August 1)

"Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do."

In January when I recommended partnering up to achieve your goals, there was one step that was at the bottom of the page. For some, it may not have received the attention it deserved so I'm going to reiterate it:

"You must also be willing to be a partner or ally for someone else's goals."

This week's action: Think of the people who've helped you this year - even if it wasn't with one of your goals. Now think of something you can do to help them and do it. 

Why we're doing it: Sometimes we can get selfish and myopic about our needs. If/when you need their help in the future, you're more likely to get it because you've created a balanced relationship.

It's the end of the month. Get your action blitz on!

#395: You Never Forget Your First (Friday, July 25)

"The first time I stepped on an NBA court, I became a businessman." -Lebron James

Think about the first time you had an experience. Think about the emotions that came with it: sadness, if it was the first time you got your heart broken; fear, if you were starting the first day of a new school or job; happiness, if it was an experience you were looking forward to...

No matter the experience, they likely have one thing in common: you remember them. You remember who you were with, how you felt and sometimes, even the minute details that you may not remember from subsequent similar experiences.

This week's action: Think of three firsts you can experience within the next month. But make sure they're not firsts that will distract you from your 2014 goals!

#394: Spouse Material (Friday, July 18)

Imagine that you're single. You meet someone, go on a few dates and you really start to dig them. This situation feels like it actually has the potential to go somewhere.

You go away for a weekend. S/he tells you all about their goals and dreams including the plans they had for 2014. You ask where they are with those plans and they chuckle and admit, embarassedly, that they haven't gotten any of their goals accomplished thus far. They give you reasons why they couldn't get to their goals - it was a hard winter; unexpected things came up; their financial situation was tenuous - but none of the reasons sound like viable ones to you.

Now imagine that the person giving the excuses is you talking to someone you just met. 

This week's action: List all qualities that are important to you when choosing a life partner. All the things you need - not the nice-to-haves. Check the list and see how you stack up against your own list.

Would you want to date someone who was lax about their goals and didn't have their priorities straight? No? Then start actin' up!

#393: Know Thyself, Be Thyself (Friday, July 11)

To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man. - the character Polonius in Hamlet


There are a lot of troubled, confused souls walking around in the world. But you don't know it, because they're like stripper cakes - pretty and perfect on the outside and hollow on the inside.

Sometimes when you don't have a clear conviction in who you are, it's easy to get caught up in other people's stuff or to be overwhelmed by negativity. Knowing oneself can also help you with your goals. After all, if you don't know who you are, how can you know where you want to go, and how can you partner with someone to help you get there?

This week's action: Meditate. Go to a meditation studio, or do it by yourself, but spend at least an hour just clearing your mind of all the clutter.

#392: Alone vs. Lonely (Friday, July 4)

If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Earlier this year, we talked about having an accountability partner or ally to help you with your goals. So how is it going? Hopefully your answer will be "Great!" But if it's not, don't lose heart; sometimes along life's journey, you have to go it alone.

This week's action: Think about the goals you set for yourself in January and the people you asked to help you with them. Conduct a mid-year evaluation. Did they hold up their end of the bargain? Did you? Are you living up to your personal mission statement? And more importantly, did you accomplish any of your goals?

If the last answer is "No," think about what you you plan to do differently in the second half of the year. And if you need to do it alone, there is nothing wrong with doing so.

#391: What's Luck Gotta Do With It? (Friday, June 27)

We're all uniquely blessed. Even on really bad days, there's something that you can be thankful for. But don't discount your own awesomeness. Sure, some things are a result of luck and/or being in the right place at the right time. But the majority of your accomplishments are probably due to your hard work, persistence, passion and effort. Don't sell yourself short.

This week's action: Own your accomplishments - every last one - celebrate them, but raise the bar and continue to keep striving.

Why we're doing it: Diminishing your accomplishments by chalking them up to "luck" is a waste of your talents.

#390: No Need to Explain (Friday, June 20)

There are times when I feel like I have to qualify my behavior. To offer a reason, an explanation for some of the things I do, say and think. There's a popular saying, "Don't waste your time explaining yourself. Your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't believe it."

This week's action: Do something you want to do (or say no to something you don't want to do) and don't feel the need to explain yourself.

Why we're doing it: "Be who you are and say how you feel because those who mind, don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

#389: YOLO? (Friday, June 13)

YOLO. You Only Live Once.

Everyone says this all the time. People use it as their mantra and their encouragement for going out and seizing the day. I'm all for anything that gets people to try new things and challenge their boundaries, but YOLO is quite misleading.

Actually, YODO is more accurate. You Only Die Once, but you live every day.

This week's action: Don't let YOLO be the reason you act or try something new. Do it because you want to.

Every day is a chance to live the life you want.

#388: 13 Rounds (Friday, June 6)

You're in a boxing match and Life is your opponent. 

The first few rounds are your childhood. You're just figuring out your swing, learning how to navigate around your opponent and gaining your confidence. After all, Life is a formidable opponent and has defeated many people.

The middle rounds (30s/40s) can sometimes be the most difficult. If you haven't learned Life's movements, you can get beaten up pretty badly. For some, they get punched so many times that even though they're not hurt, they lose their will to fight.

The later rounds are all about endurance. It's also the time when you need the most support...by this time Life has probably delivered you a few blows, you're getting tired and your only goal is to last til the end without being knocked out by Life. 

But the one thing about a boxing match is that there's always a group of people in your corner. Your team. Whether you won the round or barely hung on, your team is in that corner rooting for you, giving you advice and telling you to keep your head up. Sometimes, the people will vary, depending on the round but there will always be at least ONE person in your corner for every round. 

And then there are your fans...you can't see them from the ring, but they're there. Sometimes you'll hear one or two calling your name, or cheering at some major accomplishment. But most times they're quiet - one of many people who want to see you win. But they're there. True fans never miss a match - whether it's in person or via TV. They follow your progress, they know your stats. And they're with you whether you win or lose.

This week's action: Know the people in your corner. And get to know some of your true fans.

Why we're doing it: Because it pays to know who's in your corner.

#387: Beat Average (Friday, May 30)

The other day I saw this commercial entitled, Beat Average. It resonated with me, because I'd just blown off the gym "because it was too late."

This week's action: Watch this commercial. Identify one thing that keeps you average. Beat it.

Why we're doing it: Because average is for, well, average people...and you're not one of 'em. :)

Remember this is also the end of the month, so make sure you do your month-end blitz and make your weekly contribution.

#386: Practice Makes...Confident? (Friday, May 23)

I recently attended a presentation given by the two authors of The Confidence Code. During one part of the discussion, they talked about how venturing out of your comfort zone and trying something new - and practicing it - can make one more confident.

This week's action: Do something that makes you uncomfortable.

Why we're doing it: Discomfort is growth. The act of doing something outside of your comfort zone and completing it - even if you don't do it well, or you fail - is enough to give your confidence a boost.

#385: On Ankle Braces & Crutches (Friday, May 16)

We all need support, people (and things) that help us in our weakest moments and until we become strong again. But there's a fine line between support and a crutch.

A crutch provides support, but if it's used too long, it may make you weaker than you were when you originally started using it and prevent you from being great.

This week's action: Think of two people/things in your life that you're using as a crutch. Put together a mini plan for how you're going to reclaim your independence.

Why we're doing it: Because you're stronger than you know and you don't need no stinkin' crutch. :)

#384: Mirror, Mirror (Friday, May 9)

"The worst lies we tell are the ones we tell ourselves." - Richard Bach

A mirror always returns a clear, accurate image of whatever is put in front of it. There are no additions, no embellishments, just the image unchanged. If you were to hold up a mirror to your life, what would you see? Is it the same image that appears on social media, at work, to your family and friends? Or does your life change depending on who is looking in the mirror?

What about you? What do you see?

This week's action: Hold a mirror up to your life. Take a look at what YOU see - not what is fed to the world - just what you see when you're looking critically.

Why we're doing it: We must always try to be honest with ourselves.

#383: Right Now (Friday, May 2)

Right now someone is having a baby; drawing their last breath; tying the not; breaking up; falling in love; lonely.
Right now someone is going through your social media profile wishing they had your life.
Right now someone is having the time of their life.
Right now someone is too tired to move.
Right now someone is waiting for something to happen.
Right now someone is reading this when they should be paying attention to what's happening around them right now.

This week's action: Pay attention to the moment you're in. Actively and consciously ask yourself: "Am I getting everything I possibly can out of this moment?"

#382: You Go, Girl/Guy! (Friday, April 25)

Few things in life are more rewarding than when you do something that makes you feel good about yourself. You hold your head higher and there's a little more pep in your step. 

This week's action: Do something that...makes you feel empowered. Whether it's mastering something you thought you couldn't do; taking back control of a situation that has made you feel powerless; standing up/speaking up for something you're passionate about - just do it!

Why we're doing it: Because it feels awesome and everyone deserves to feel like they have control and power over their destiny. :)

Also, this is the last Friday in April, so you know what that means: end-of-the-month action blitz! This weekend, cross off all the things on your to-do list that you've been procrastinating on all month!

And in honor of Financial Literacy Month, remember to put your $17 away in an envelope!

#381: Do Something That...(Friday, April 18)

"If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company." - Jean-Paul Sartre

Are you someone who enjoys your own company, or do you need other people around to enjoy yourself? Does the thought of going out to dinner alone fill you with dread? This week marks the start of my Do Something series, where each week I'll challenge you to do something that is out of your comfort zone.

This week's action: Do something alone. Not something that you'd normally do by yourself, but something that really challenges the boundaries of your comfort. Like going  dancing; or taking yourself out to dinner; or traveling; or going to a networking event.

Why we're doing it: Everyone should be happy and comfortable in their own company. Just don't make it a habit - there's a fine line between solitude and depression.

#380: Priorities vs. Options (Friday, April 11)

"I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar."  

A big part of protecting your balls is prioritizing. When someone or something is a priority, it will show in the attention you give to them/it. 

This week's action: Go through your phone list. Look at every single name and put it in one of three categories:

• Priority: These are the people 'for whom you don't consult your calendar.' They need you - you're there.
• Option1: These are the people who you'll be there for them, even if sometimes it may be a little inconvenient.
• Option 2: You'll be there for these people, only if it's convenient.

Now ask yourself two questions: 1) Am I spending my time in the right places (i.e. with my Priorities)?; and 2) Am I in the same category for them, as they are for me?

Why we're doing it: It is your actions that show people how you truly feel about them.

#379: Thanks! (Friday, April 4)

When was the last time you just sat and thought about how lucky you are?

This week's action: Start a gratitude journal. Every time you think of something you're grateful for, jot it down in your journal. I did it this week and logged 32 things.

Why we're doing it: Sometimes when you just keep doing, you forget to spend some time to be thankful for what you've already accomplished.

#378: Protect Your Balls (Friday, March 28)

"Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls - family, health, friends, integrity - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered." -Attributed to several different sources

What do you think about every day? Chances are most of the things that occupy your thoughts are either unimportant in the grand scheme of things, or are things outside of your control.

This week's action: Make a list of all the things on your mind at this very moment.  After you've listed everything, put each item into one of two categories: 

• Things I Worry About That Matter, and 
• Things I Worry About That Aren't Important in the Grand Scheme of Things

Repeat this exercise daily for a week.

Why we're doing it: We can refocus the energy we spend worrying about unimportant things to "protect our balls."

And it's also the last Friday in the month, so make sure you get in a Month End Action Blitz. Complete the tasks you'd set out to do this month, but haven't gotten around to.

#377: Do You Measure Up? (Friday, March 21)

"Measure the strength of your relationships by the moments you miss." - Jullien Gordon

By now, you're well into your plan for the year. Some of you may have even gotten a goal or two out of the way already. But how do you know when you've achieved success? What's your measurement?

Some goals are easily measured: "I want to lose X pounds" or "I want to learn to do Y by Z date." Others - like "I want to spend more time with loved ones," or "I want to be happy," or "I want to be successful" - require a little more measurement.

This week's action: Think about your personal mission statement and your goals for this year. How will you know that you're successful in living up to them. Look at each measurement, and see if it makes sense. And for the goals/parts of your mission statement that you "can't measure", should you have a goal that you don't know when you've completed it successfully?

We're up to Week 12. How's it going?

#376: Being "Passive" Pays (Friday, March 14)

I know you read the title of this post and thought that I must be confused. Since the beginning of the year, I've been saying 2014 is the year we're actin' up, and here I am telling you that passivity pays.

Relax, I haven't gone off the deep end. We're still doing this year, but passivity has its place. Let me explain (this week, the "Why we're doing it" is coming first):

We're always looking to fix/improve the things in our lives that are broken; things we could do better; and things that we want to accomplish. But at this very moment, there are parts of your life that are great just the way they are. But why wait until those things fall apart before you do something about them? "Passive" maintenance can prevent that from happening.

This week's action:  Identify one area of your life that's spectacular, that's going just the way you want to. Think of something you can do to keep that part of your life strong. For example, love your job? Go on interviews anyway even if you're not actively looking for a job. Completely in love with your partner? Take them on a "first" date. Have something you do really well? Use that skill to help a community organization...you get the idea. Don't wait until it's broken; keep it maintained.

#375: Testing, Testing (Friday, March 7)

You've been doing everything you can to meet a particular goal. Things are going well, you're making progress and then just as you're on the verge of accomplishing your goal, something catastrophic happens that throws a monkey wrench in your plans. Some people call it Murphy's Law. I call it a test.

This week's action: Take the test. You have been preparing for this. Whether it was getting a partner, writing down all the things that have stopped you before or the things you need to say no to, you've been studying for this test. You know the answers. Don't panic, take a deep breath and get it done.

#374: The 9/10ths Rule (Friday, February 28)

"There's a rule I call The 9/10ths Rule. It says that if 9 of your friends are broke, you will be the 10th." -Coach Felicia, Essence magazine

The 9/10ths Rule could apply to anything. If 9 of your friends have unhealthy lifestyles, you will be the 10th. If they're negative, unmotivated individuals who complain about how the world has treated them, you will be the 10th. It's important to choose your circle carefully.

This week's action: Join a professional organization, a club, or even a group on LinkedIn that meets one of the following criteria:

• Aligns with one of your goals this year (e.g. If your goal is to run more, join a running club)  

• Aligns with your current/future profession (e.g. I want to be an author, so I joined a literary group)

Why we're doing it: So the other 9 can be closer to your 10.

Psst...we're still actin' up! It's the end of the month, so it's time for another month-end action blitz. Plus it's Week 9 so make sure you're still on your savings plan.

#373: If Cabin Pressure Drops... (Friday, February 21)

When you are on a plane, they tell you if the cabin pressure drops, you should put your oxygen mask on first. So it is with life. Always take care of yourself first - it's the only way you'll be able to help others.

A few months ago, I wrote a post about saying no to some things to make room for others. Some may have thought about it, said, "That's a great idea." but didn't really go further. One of the key threats to your goals is being sidetracked or overwhelmed (which is really sidetracked's cousin).

This week's action: Create a "No List". It's a list of things you will say no to this year if they cross your path. Some of mine? Resume critiques, having important conversations via text message and last-minute marketing favors.

Why we're doing it: Chances are, if you look at the things you did this week a great percentage of them have nothing to do with your goals. Sure, they may have helped someone else further theirs, but unless that is your goal, then you should really be putting your mask on first.

#372: What Do You Want to Be Known For? (Friday, February 14)

Sometimes who we are today isn't necessarily what we want to be known for. The good news? You can change it. We're all marketers. Whether you're "selling" a product, a service, an opinion, or your brand, chances are you want to get people to buy into that thing.

This week's action: 

• Step 1: Pick a few friends and family (people who are close to you) and some colleagues and associates (people who aren't so close to you). 
• Randomly ask them this question: "What's the first adjective or phrase that pops into your mind - good or bad - when you think of me?" (It has to be random, because you want their honest, knee-jerk answer not the politically correct response.)
• Be prepared for what you hear and don't get defensive or try to justify it. Consider it research to answer the question: What do you want to be known for?
• Review the responses. Do they align with your answer? Are you getting a lot of similar responses? 

Why we're doing it: These responses tell you how much work you have to do to get to what you want to be known for. Perception is reality. If you want to be known for being the best baker and no one says so in their response, you have some work to do to change the perception. If the responses are aligned to your answer, you're already halfway there.

Having a great business card also helps.

#371: Take Small Bites, Chew Slowly (Friday, February 7)

A few years ago, I had a really bad case of indigestion. No matter what I ate, it would make my chest burn and I always felt like there was food lodged on my chest.
"You need to take smaller bites and chew slowly," the doctor said.

So it is with your goals. If you're like me, you tend to juggle multiple goals Small steps will get you there.

This week's action: Pick one of your goals. Put down three small steps you can take to this week that will help you achieve that goal.

Why we're doing it: It's easy to get overwhelmed and want to give up. Breaking up your goals into manageable tasks helps you stay on track. Focused intention is better than distracted dreaming.

#370: Month-End Action Blitz (Friday, January 31)

Old habits don't die overnight. So even though you may have started the year with momentum and gusto, chances are there things you've procrastinated on all month that you need to do.

This week's action: Identify 1-2 tasks you've been procrastinating on this month. Use a couple hours this weekend to complete it - no excuses. (FYI, the fact that it's Superbowl weekend is an excuse.)

Why we're doing this: Whether it's finding your receipts to file your taxes, completing your application for life insurance, taking in your dry cleaning or making that doctor's appointment, we all have something that we deferred that needs to get done.

Don't extend it past this weekend.

And while you're at it, make your $5 contribution to your weekly savings fund.

#369: "I've Been Here Before" (Friday, January 24)

One cannot be prepared for something while secretly believing it will not happen." -Nelson Mandela

Take a look at your goals for this year. How many of them are goals that you've attempted in the past, or have had on your list for a long time?

Have you ever noticed that the closer you get to achieving a goal, the more obstacles seem to appear to prevent you from getting there? Sometimes the obstacles are situations outside of your control - you lose your job, suffer an unexpected illness, have to relocate, etc.

But more often than not, you are the person standing in your own way. Doubt, fear, self-deprecation - these feelings can sabotage your goals.

But you can get ahead of it.

This week's action: 

• List all your goals (use one sheet of paper per goal). 
• Then for each goal, write down everything you've done - the excuses you've given, getting distracted by other things, conflicting activities - to sabotage that goal.
• Keep that list handy and refer to it every time you think of deferring or canceling your goal.

Knowing is half the battle.

#368: Grab Your Partner, Do Si Do! (Friday, January 17)

If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." -African proverb

I love this proverb. I think before you embark upon any goal, you should ask yourself one question: "Do I want to go fast or do I want to go far?" 

There are some things that it makes sense to do alone; but a lot of times you can increase your chances of success if you have some help - the right kind of help.

Partners are people who are on a similar trajectory as you are. They may have the same goal as you do, or share your level of enthusiasm/motivation to see the goal accomplished.

Allies may not necessarily have the same goal as you, nor share your passion. But they want to see you succeed. And they have the resources to help you accomplish your goal.

This week's action: 

1. List your goals for this year. 
2. Identify a partner or ally for each of your goals. 
3. Write down what type of help you need from each person for each goal.
4. Ask for help.
5. You must also be willing to be a partner or ally for someone else's goals.

#367: Ground Control to Major Tom (Friday, January 10)

It's great to take action, to hit the ground running on the first day of the year bent on accomplishing your goals. But why are you doing it?

We all want a lot of the same things: to have a great career, to find a good-looking, successful partner and live happily ever after, to make a lot of money, to own a home...the list goes on. But do those goals and dreams make for a fulfilled life?

What would make your life matter? Is it the great job with the six-figure salary? The nice house? Vacationing in the Hamptons every summer? The answer to that question is your mission.

Everyone should have a personal mission statement - the reason your life and your goals matter.

This week's action: Sit down in a quiet place, without your phone, TV or any other outside distractions. Think about, then write down your personal mission statement. Do your goals align to your life's mission? They should.

And while you're at it, remember to put your money away in a sealed envelope for Week 2.

#366: Start Actin' Up (Friday, January 3)

It's a brand new year and another opportunity to get it right -- or at least break even. There are some years when I struggle to think of the annual theme, but 2014 wasn't one of those years.

In fact, I'd had the theme before my birthday as I was reflecting on my 34th year and didn't feel so great about it. So the 2014 theme was inspired by my worst of 2013 -- I guess it's a blesson (a difficult lesson that turns out to be a blessing).

Our theme for this year is action. We are going to move, be purposeful and intentional about what we want, and gosh darn it, we are going to get it! Every week, I'll post an action that I'm taking; you can choose to do the same action or something different, but just do something.

This week's action: Do you have $1? Do you have an envelope? Good. Put the dollar in the envelope, seal it, and write "Week 1" across the seal. Store it in a safe place.

Why you're doing this: We can all have a better relationship with money. Sometimes, you just need to start somewhere. If you do this and follow up each week, you'll have $1,300+ to start 2015 (or to pay off a debt at the end of 2014). Who doesn't want that?

It's time to start actin' up!